#I'm looking away at the implications of the future where I'm going to spend time with them

[pensivespacepirate]

half came out to friends i didn't plan to come out to (blurted out im bi when they asked if i liked girls) (guy who asked took it well ("ayyy women enjoyers") and i didnt see the others' reaction) coincided with mizu5. im. uh. yeah

[starcurtain]

A Look at Ratio and Aventurine... and Ratio/Aventurine

I was morally obligated to use this picture.

Anyway, I got an ask about my understanding of Ratio and Aventurine's relationship both in canon and as a ship that I have been holding on to for a while now because... phew, there's like... a lot to talk about there... But I felt I should at least give it a try, so here is my attempt to comment on the intersection of two of Star Rail's most complicated personalities. Long post is longgggg; you have been warned.

First, Aventurine's canon relationship to Ratio:

In the interest of not hitting tumblr's image limit, let's just throw out some of the information we have in one go:

It's pretty complimentary. (Yet somehow...)

The implication of the infamous "Keeping Up with Star Rail" video is that Ratio understands Aventurine better than anyone else, and Aventurine knows this. At the very least, putting all shipping aside, Ratio is the person who can explain Aventurine's behaviors best. He's the person Aventurine chooses do so. This suggests significantly more knowledge of each other's lives than the game first led us to believe.

Other people (read as: my GOAT Owlbert) perceive respect from Aventurine to Ratio, and although I read them as a bit sarcastic, the 2.1 mission logs not only repeatedly confirm that Aventurine views Ratio as smart and reliable, but that Ratio is reliable "as always," again indicating a longer and closer history of collaboration than we get to actively see in game. The devs were working hard to tell us "Penacony isn't Ratiorine's first rodeo," which is interesting--given Topaz's voiceline recommending the Trailblazer avoid working with Aventurine whenever possible, we're led to believe through 2.0 and 2.1 that not many people will willingly work with Aventurine more than once, let alone many times.

While going through psychological scrutiny from the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come his Harmony-infused self, the "Future" Aventurine suggests that Ratio and Aventurine are quite similar, and that Aventurine puts a surprising amount of trust in Ratio, to be willing to hinge such a dangerous plan on something as untested as Ratio's ability to act. At the very least, Aventurine's own psyche is pondering on Ratio and whether or not their connection has any emotional meaning.

But despite all this evidence suggesting Ratio and Aventurine spend significantly more time with each other than we get to see in game, Aventurine's own thoughts cast strong doubt on whether he and Ratio are actually close.

Aventurine's "About Dr. Ratio" voice line suggests that Aventurine believes Ratio does not particularly like him. He seems to think that Ratio would prefer to stay away from IPC operations where possible, and it's "unfortunate" for Ratio to be stuck with Aventurine as a conversation partner. He's tolerated, rather than enjoyed. His overall impression seems to be that Ratio mostly views them as distant coworkers.

When the "Future" Aventurine suggests Ratio did not betray Aventurine willingly, actual Aventurine immediately pushes back:

(Personally I'm on the fence about whether this was real doubt or just a ploy to continue sussing out Sunday; see my other post about this scene for some more thoughts.)

But if we take this statement to be played straight, it implies that Aventurine doesn't fully believe Ratio will side with him, even (maybe especially) in dire circumstances. If this statement is real doubt, then despite considering Ratio the person who best understands him, despite building an entire life or death gamble around Ratio's loyalty... Aventurine still doesn't think Ratio even likes him.

Aventurine's not stupid or blind, so theoretically he should be able to read the situation better than that. But actually, there's plenty of evidence both in the game and outside it to suggest that Aventurine is not the most accurate judge of his own relationships to others and is a down-right terrible judge of his own worth as a person.

"Future" Aventurine suggests that one of Aventurine's deep inner flaws--the truths that he rejects about himself--is a massive inferiority complex. This is backed up well by the mission text, where Aventurine's thoughts about himself spiral into self-harm, and the scene in the maze, where "Future" Aventurine taunts our Aventurine with the unforgettable fact that his entire life was only worth pennies:

There's also pretty consistent self-deprecation, with both "Future" and real Aventurine noting several times that he's a pathetic mess of a person that other people don't trust or like.

The overall impression 2.0-2.1 left me with is that Aventurine is perfectly capable of respecting and caring for others, but virtually incapable of accepting other people genuinely respecting and caring for him.

Part of this seems to stem from the directly-stated sense that he's a failure whose only worth is in transactional exchanges, using and being used by others (there's so many layers to this--internalized racism even), but I also suspect that much of his inability to accept genuine connection from others is defensive behavior.

Aventurine's true self, Kakavasha, is deeply hidden away, like the ghost of the child that manifests from his Harmony delusion in the Dreamscape. Although Aventurine clings to that person, claiming that he has "never changed," he actively coats over his beliefs, his kindness, and his authenticity with the mask of a "cavalier gambler," with glitz and glamor and showy distractions. No one gets to see Kakavasha. No one gets to know him, because being buried deep in the dirt is the only way to remain untouchable, and fiercely keeping one's distance is the only safe bet. (For both Kakavasha and any fools who would doom themselves by daring to care for him.)

So: Canon is telling us that Ratio is one of, if not the, closest people in the world to Aventurine. But canon is also telling us that that still means absolutely nothing at all, because Aventurine won't let himself be close to anyone living.

Aventurine's senses of self-worth, trust, attachment, and safety have been warped so badly by ongoing and untreated trauma and mental health issues that, at least until the end of 2.1, I just don't think he was capable of even accepting genuine friendship from Ratio, let alone anything more.

(Interesting side note here: Ratio is actually one of the people Aventurine calls "my friend" the least. He only says it directly to Ratio a single time in all of their lines of dialogue across 2.0 and 2.1, and even then, does so only when right outside Sunday's door, while almost certainly being spied upon by the Family. Anyone who knows how often "my friend" is peppered into Aventurine's dialogue otherwise should know that the absence of the phrase is actually pretty telling. It almost feels like canon Aventurine's not even sure he can call Ratio his friend, at least to Ratio's face.)

Which makes Ratio's canon relationship to Aventurine quite sad and ironic:

From start to finish, Ratio canonically esteems Aventurine more highly than almost any other character in the game. I'm not even talking about shipping when I say that there is no character Ratio is closer to in the entire game.

At present, Ratio has only four voice lines about other characters, and of those four, Aventurine's is the only one that isn't someone from the Genius Society. The only one. Ratio's voice lines are also notably, uh, not very complimentary. Herta is "talented but not helpful to others" and "sees no one as her equal" (read as: she's self-absorbed). Screwllum is a "monarch, rather than a genius" (with the vague implications of being a tyrant), and Ruan Mei is overly ambitious and "fooling everyone."

Meanwhile, Aventurine is "our man" (who is "our" Ratio? who?) whose success "can't all be chalked up to luck," implying that part of Aventurine's success must come from skill. Ratio notes that Aventurine questions his own ability... but as far as Ratio's evaluation goes, he seems to doubt that Aventurine will ever experience a downfall. For someone who thinks 99% of the people he meets are mediocre failures scrambling around in the filth of existence, to be recognized as skilled and unlikely to fail is quite obviously glowing praise.

Then, of course, there are numerous moments that echo Aventurine's hints, implying that Ratio spends significantly more time with Aventurine than we see on-screen, that he knows Aventurine extremely well, and, although he tries (vainly) to pretend he isn't, he's clearly quite concerned with what Aventurine thinks of him.

Especially this last one. "No wonder that gambler likes you so much" is pretty intentional on the devs' part, confirming that Ratio and Aventurine are having off-screen conversations we players are not privy to, which obviously would indicate a closer relationship than the in-game cutscenes could cover.

Then, Trailblazer has the option to flat out ask Ratio to "rate" Aventurine. (Star Rail ship bait is not even subtle.)

At first, this line might read as all over the place:

"The bosses say we're partners but I wouldn't say that" -> Read as: Ratio wants people to know how their relationship is classified but doesn't want to admit to being actually invested.

"I see myself as the teacher to everyone I meet" -> Read as: Ratio at least pretends that he doesn't view anyone as his equal; everyone is either above him--geniuses--or below him--students.

"Aventurine is not that bad of a student" -> High praise; even Ratio can't pretend Aventurine's untalented.

"Actually, Aventurine's probably in metaphysical danger" -> Read as: Ratio is aware of the "void" Aventurine is experiencing and his mental struggles.

The ultimate takeaway of Ratio's "rating" actually says more about Ratio than Aventurine. When it comes down to it, Ratio's choice to answer this question for the Trailblazer instead of dismiss it tells us that Ratio has spent time quantifying and trying to define his relationship with Aventurine, is willing to at least discuss that relationship with other people (when we have no evidence he ever discusses any other personal/non-academic matters with anyone), and that Ratio pays attention to Aventurine's mental states.

Canon Ratio is not beating the allegations, I'm afraid.

But actually, I think the biggest tell about Ratio's canon relationship to Aventurine is that Ratio's behavior completely changes the moment Aventurine appears in the game.

In every single one of Ratio's other appearances, two facts are hammered home again and again:

First, Ratio hates interacting with fools and "noisy" people. He wears his plaster bust so that he doesn't even have to see them. Canonically, we're informed by both March 7th and Argenti that Ratio brought and was wearing his headpiece in Penacony. Curiously though...

The players never see it throughout 2.X--probably because 90% of Ratio's scenes are with Aventurine, and Ratio is never shown wearing his bust on screen with Aventurine--even in their very first meeting in the Final Victor lightcone. Aventurine clearly knows of the bust, but despite Ratio verbally going on and on about how Aventurine is the most "flashy" and "devoid of logic" person Ratio knows... the devs deliberately send their message: Ratio has chosen not to cut himself off from Aventurine.

Aventurine can be more "clamorous" than a screaming peacock, but Ratio will still not put up walls against him. This isn't accidental. The devs had every opportunity in the world to go the opposite route and make jokes about Ratio refusing to take the bust off in Aventurine's obnoxious presence; instead they decided that Ratio apparently has a glaring, Aventurine-shaped exception to his "I don't want to perceive you fools or be perceived by you" life rule.

This "willing to tolerate shenanigans only if Aventurine is involved" behavior continues basically throughout all of Penacony's plot. In 2.3 for example, if you turn around and talk to Ratio again on the Radiant Feldspar, he flat out says:

But there's no actual explanation for why he's there in the first place. He mentions he was assigned to watch over "the IPC's ambassadors," which theoretically should apply to Jade and Topaz, yet we never see him interacting with them in any capacity. He's never even shown in the same room as Jade or Topaz, and he's not shown doing any other form of business for the IPC on the Feldspar either. Theoretically, he could have been on the Feldspar to meet regarding the Divergent Universe... except Screwllum wasn't there yet, and Ratio doesn't mention a single word about the Divergent Universe to the Trailblazer.

The only person Ratio talks about in his dialogue on the Feldspar is Aventurine, and the only non-Trailblazer he talks to in 2.3 at all is also Aventurine, replying to him and only him in the group chat.

He looked like he might give it a shot to try to befriend Boothill and Argenti at the end of 2.3... but immediately changes his mind and leaves without saying a word to them.

It's not really a stretch to suggest that the only reasonable excuse for Ratio to attend the party on the Feldspar was if he was there for Aventurine, a behavior that he himself notes is out of character. ("A waste of time" he says, as he stands there anyway.)

But, second and even more importantly: Ratio's single most defining character trait is that he believes people need to pick themselves up. The entire point of his debut appearance in the game was to present his philosophy that if the powerful or privileged intervene to continually "save" the mediocre, ordinary people will never learn for themselves or get the chance to grow. It is in times of desperation, he says, that fools exceed their limits and reach greatness.

This is why, in 1.6, he insisted on Asta and the Trailblazer being the ones to solve the attacks happening on the space station, without relying on Screwllum or the other geniuses. Although Ratio did actively intervene a little (using the phase flame to save the researchers from death), he did so only from behind the scenes, where his actual help would not be noticed by those affected and where it had no impact on their decision-making or their struggles to solve the mystery.

He let Asta and the Trailblazer panic. He let them flounder. He even deliberately misled them at points, claiming that Duke Inferno must have kidnapped the researchers (when it was actually Ratio himself who re-routed them).

Ultimately, Ratio let Asta and the Trailblazer grow from their experiences.

This is also why he lets the Trailblazer go blazing in to fight Ruan Mei's faux emanator of the propagation, despite knowing that Trailblazer was not actually strong enough to win. Ratio watched and was ready to intervene... but in the end he did not, because it was the Trailblazer's fight to lose.

Ratio's most defining character trait is that he believes standing back and observing is the true kindness, rather than inserting oneself and denying people their autonomy or opportunities to grow.

Buttttt... then there's Aventurine, and suddenly the story is completely different.

Suddenly, Ratio isn't an observer but becomes essential to the plan. He's even walking around making big claims about being the manager of the task, flexing all of his C+ acting ability to actively carry out their mutual ploy.

In 2.3, he claims he was just there to watch, and his Penacony sticker asserts he's only "a supporting character"--yet we have never seen Ratio take a more active role in the entire game. Unlike with the Trailblazer in 1.6, he's not primarily watching events unfold from shadowy corners. He's in Penacony as Aventurine's active partner in crime.

And, even more telling--he later jeopardizes their entire mission just to ask if Aventurine needs help.

What? Huh? The character who is famous for the voice line "You look distressed. Is something troubling you? If so, you can figure it out for yourself" is suddenly offering his assistance entirely unprompted?

The guy whose motto might as well be:

Is suddenly out here throwing his own core philosophy out the window to solve Penacony's mystery for Aventurine and save him from himself in Aventurine's hour of greatest need?

A lot of people get hung up on the second half of Ratio's letter, the part about staying alive, which of course is very sweet. But I think the second half causes people to forget that the first part of Ratio's letter is, quite literally, the answer to Penacony's mystery.

Ratio gave Aventurine the answer.

This is like if your professor just gave you and you alone the score key to the final exam and then turned around to insist he "doesn't play favorites."

Of course, Aventurine is brilliant and didn't need Ratio's answer about dormancy, which makes the fact that Ratio went out of the way to give it to him even more odd. Ratio despises unnecessary repetition. If he wasn't dead worried, he would never have given Aventurine an answer that Aventurine had the power to find on his own.

And, as far as canon tells us, Ratio has never done this for anyone else.

The difference is night and day. It's literally the Gordon Ramsay meme, with everyone else in the entire game being the "fucking donkeys" to Aventurine's "Oh dear. Gorgeous."

So: Even if we entirely put aside shipping, if we look strictly at what we're given in canon:

Ratio treats Aventurine with more respect than he treats most other characters in the game.

He involves himself in Aventurine's struggles in a way that he flat out refuses to do for anyone else.

He compromises his own beliefs purely out of concern for Aventurine.

So, at least as far as we've been shown in canon, it is accurate to state that Aventurine is the closest character to Ratio--and unlike Aventurine (king of self-gaslighting), Ratio isn't even good at acting like he doesn't care.

Frankly, the whole thing is a little sad. Ratio's behavior is so blatantly out of character that a smart person like Aventurine should easily be able to determine it is genuine, but Aventurine's personal hang-ups and ongoing trauma make it difficult for him to even see that authenticity, let alone put faith in it. Even in canon, Ratio is mostly unable to help himself when it comes to Aventurine, which is especially unfortunate given how badly skewed Aventurine's perception of himself and others is by the start of Penacony's story.

PHEW! I finally made it through canon content!

Now there's just... everything else... 🫠

Well, to be honest, I don't think I could ever manage to put all my thoughts about this ship into one post. Probably not even fifty posts.

So rather than trying to say everything there is to say about Ratiorine, what I want to focus on is how fantastically these two characters just fit together. Like puzzle pieces that need to be mirror opposites in order to link, these two characters parallel each other while also perfectly filling in each other's voids. It's some of the best character pair writing I've seen in a long time (though I'm still sort of convinced it was at least 50% sheer luck on Hoyo's part), and my perspective on their ship can really be tied to my underlying perception of Ratio and Aventurine's characters as remarkably similar individuals:

It's obvious that Aventurine is not a healthy or well-adjusted adult man, but like... neither is Ratio.

Both of these characters are "not quite right" marginalized people who, at least in my interpretation, have essentially given up on even faking normality and are now just vaguely play acting their way through being functioning members of a universe that is entirely unequipped to accept them for who they are. In a world full of cyborg cowboys and people with wings growing from their heads, the game still manages to somehow convince us that Aventurine and Ratio are odd ones out.

Kakavasha can't even exist in the dystopian capitalist hellscape of the IPC's machinations. "Aventurine" isn't even a real person, just a never-ending performance, a slick, devil-may-care persona without a single ounce of substance.

Ratio, meanwhile, is a world of one, rejected from the only place he thought he could find validation and acceptance but unable to lower himself to fit in anywhere else.

Aventurine is so bad at making genuine connections that he turns everyday conversations into gambles because he doesn't believe people will care enough to keep talking to him without tangible incentive.

Ratio's insistence on treating everyone as students, not as equals, also means he has an excuse to never emotionally engage with anyone he meets. (This is not at all a textbook method of intentional avoidance to prevent any chance of social rejection. Not at all.)

At the end of the day, Aventurine and Ratio both come across as desperately lonely, and so caught up in their own situations that they really don't have the ability to climb out of that hole on their own.

Preventing them from even being able to maintain any form of relationship is also the fact that neither one of them can even find justification. Neither one of them has a reasonable answer to the question "Why am I alive?" anymore, because Aventurine's reason died on Sigonia and Ratio's reason died with an IPC invitation instead of a Genius Society letter. Though their differing perspectives have led them on opposite paths pursuing their own answers to that ultimate question of "Why should I keep living?" (Aventurine was headed toward giving up before the end of Penacony, while Ratio has invented an immeasurable, impossible goal to distract himself from feeling purposeless), both of them are pretty much miserably unfulfilled in their current lives.

They're also both violently allergic to emotional vulnerability and to having any of their flaws or true desires actually be perceived. Both of them put up insanely high walls. Aventurine pushes boundaries with everyone he meets to provoke their hatred in advance, before they can come to disdain him for his "real" flaws. He acts out harmful racist stereotypes to use others' preconceptions for advantage, manipulating every situation he's in--incidentally affirming the stereotypes against his people by doing so.

Ratio puts a physical wall of plaster between himself and others, but the plaster bust actually doesn't have anything on the mental and emotional gymnastics he's engaged in to justify his isolation from the world, doing everything in his power to convince himself that he's isolated by choice, that it's perfectly logical for Veritas Ratio to have nowhere to truly belong, no one to truly belong with. He's so mundane after all. Of course the geniuses don't want him, that's just commonsense. But everyone else is so... different, so foolish, so illogical... It just wouldn't be reasonable of him to try to become one of them either, to be their friend instead of their distant educator. (You know, if you never try to integrate with others, then they can't reject you. Ratio has learned his lesson.)

Somehow, Aventurine and Ratio are two of the most competent and successful people in Star Rail's entire universe and simultaneously also two of the most misfit, reject, dysfunctional messes in the game. Like... Blade has a better support network than Aventurine and Ratio combined. The 7000-pound murderous mech with a disabled, genetically-modified war veteran who never got to live a normal human life hiding inside it is more capable of making friends than Aventurine and Dr. Ratio.

Which is why I love that the devs decided to make their canon backstory: "Some absolute treasures in the IPC and the Intelligentsia Guild had the galaxy-brained idea of pairing Ratio and Aventurine as strategic partners." The game's writing really said: "These two characters are so socially stunted, they have to be assigned a relationship like it's homework."

They may not have it all figured out yet, but the fans see the design: Now that Ratio and Aventurine have each other, they're not alone anymore. I have never seen two characters better fit the "Is anyone going to match my freak?" meme only for the actual answer to be "Yes."

Ratio is "plays chess with himself" levels of loner weird? No problem--Aventurine is "Wanna take bets on who's going to die today?" weirder. Ratio wears a plaster bust to ward off idiots? Aventurine transforms into a monster on command, which is pretty much guaranteed to achieve the same effect.

Ratio wasn't chosen by Nous? That's fine, Aventurine's one job as a "chosen one" was to save his people and now they're all dead. Nobody can keep up with Ratio in conversation? Watch a single comment from Aventurine turn him into a fumbling mess on live television.

Ratio's inability to relate to the experiences and development of any peers his own age have left him extremely isolated and with a permanently scarred sense of self-worth? Wow, I wonder if Aventurine knows exactly what that feels like.

They just... fit.

And, changing focus a little here at the end: While I personally think that recovery from trauma requires internal motivation and self-kindness foremost, I also think that Ratio and Aventurine's relationship should be considered from the perspective of how they help to fill each other's gaps.

Unlike any connection at the Genius Society who will always evoke unpleasant memories of Nous's rejection, Aventurine isn't going to make Ratio feel intellectually inferior. Aventurine has nothing but good things to say about Ratio's intelligence, and it's even apparent that Ratio felt comfortable enough to at least mention his Genius Society woes to Aventurine, something he explicitly does not do with anyone else.

Even when it comes to social interactions, Aventurine isn't going to make Ratio feel inadequate, because honestly? Aventurine's almost as bad at them as Ratio. Aventurine is much better at faking it socially, but when it actually counts? When he's trying to be real with others? A solid 70% of the people who meet Aventurine still end up wanting to strangle him. The guy tried to apologize for threatening to detonate the Trailblazer like a bomb by buying them a model train...

Then there's this:

Aventurine is the only character explicitly called Ratio's equal in game, and more than just treating him respectfully as an equal, Aventurine also exhibits one extreme appeal that no one else in game has ever shown to Ratio: Aventurine makes Ratio feel needed. For Aventurine, Ratio is not a forgettable after-thought as he is to Herta and most of the other geniuses. He's not just "some weird guy who scolds me about school" like he is to the Trailblazer. Ratio's intellect and skill were integral to Aventurine's plan from step one to the very end. Ratio has a place in Aventurine's plots. For a character who directly assesses worth by how beneficial a person can be to others, the fact that Aventurine can make Ratio feel wanted and valued probably produced some of the strongest personal fulfillment Ratio has had in years.

On the opposite side, Ratio's in a unique position. Out of every relevant character in Aventurine's story, Ratio is the only one who has nothing to lose by choosing Kakavasha over "Aventurine." Ratio doesn't profit off Aventurine or take any expensive gifts from him, like the Trailblazer does. He doesn't need Aventurine's luck for anything at all. He'd be able to work for the IPC even if Aventurine wasn't in it. Ratio certainly doesn't want the glitz and glamour of a shallow gambling hustler persona. His work doesn't require Aventurine's continued involvement like Topaz's and Jade's does. He'd probably prefer not to know any Stonehearts at all, thank you for asking.

Outside of deliberate-acting insults about Sigonians for Sunday's sake, we're not told that Ratio has any connections to--and therefore has no preconceived biases against--Sigonians. Being a person who values self-determination and a refusal to live in mediocrity above all else, he would have nothing but esteem for how far Aventurine has managed to come despite the harsh circumstances of his life. Ratio probably wouldn't even think Aventurine's belief in Gaiathra is that strange; one of Ratio's doctorates is actually in theology.

Unlike literally everyone else in the universe who needs "Aventurine," we have every indication that Ratio's respect and admiration will only grow when he finally gets to meet "Kakavasha."

Loneliness, rejection, betrayal, a lack of understanding from others--all of these can leave wounds that only genuine, deep bonds with others can heal.

On death's doorway, in the darkest shadow, when Aventurine had to make the choice between passing on to be with the family that loved him and choosing to return to a reality without them... Ratio's letter was there, telling Aventurine the exact thing he needed to hear to choose life: Someone is waiting for you to come home.

If the resounding rejection of Star Rail's Nihility is belief in humanity's power to make meaning in our own lives through our connections to others, then the ultimate message of Ratio and Aventurine's arc in Penacony is that no one needs to be alone. The world is not as empty as you fear.

And that is a message that Ratio and Aventurine can learn best through each other.

(I just... love them so much...)

[scarlet-bitch]

Sunday Mornings

2k Steve X fem!reader, Angst/Fluff, 90's AU, no y/n

A/N: a different take on that s4 scene with Steve and Nance. Songs I loosely pulled inspo from: 'Never My Love' - The Association, the first verse of 'Sunday Morning' - The Velvet Underground, & the epilogue lyrics are 'Our House' - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young *EDIT: my music was on shuffle and Make It With You - Bread came on and idk how I missed that for the epilogue lyrics!!! So I updated that. Feedback/likes/reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading & as always, I hope you enjoy! XO, Scarlet 💋

Your favorite way to spend Sunday was a lazy morning in bed—preferably in Steve's—with your limbs intertwined and your head on his chest. Content in the silence, you'd often daydream about your future together. But today, instead of your own dreams, your mind replayed what you’d overheard Steve share with your friends—a life you couldn’t envision for yourself. One that's had you riddled with anxiety ever since.

“Y’know,” Steve said, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts, “when I was shopping with Robin yesterday, something caught my eye.”

You looked up at him. “Oh yeah? What was it?”

“A ring,” he replied, brushing his thumb over your left ring finger. “I couldn’t help but imagine it here.”

Your heart raced at the implication. This should have been a sweet moment—the first real conversation where the man you loved expressed his intentions to marry you. Instead, it felt like a nightmare. You had been meaning to bring up what you overheard, but it never seemed like the right time. Now, you realized you had no choice.

"I'm sorry” he said, his brow furrowing with concern as he noticed the look of panic on your face. "Was that too much?"

“No,” you whispered, as the nausea rose within you. “Not at all. Truly, there's nothing more I want than to be your wife."

“That’s all I want too, pretty girl. So sure of it, almost bought the ring.” He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. You felt him smile into the kiss, and you wanted to revel in the moment, kiss him back with the same ferocity but your guilt was eating you from the inside.

Pulling away, you saw Steve lean in again, only to pause as his eyes flickered open taking in the sight of you. “Aww honey, you're crying?" He chuckled softly, moving his hand to caress your cheek.

Fuck. He'd mistaken them for tears of joy, rather than anguish they were born from—the words you'd struggled to voice.

You took his wrist, gently removing his hand from your face as you repositioned yourself to sit up in bed. Your fingers gripping the comforter for some sense of control.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

“I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Okay.” He sat up now, confusion washing over him as his eyes searched yours for any indication of what you were about to say. You could almost see him rifling through possible scenarios in his mind.

“I’ve been selfish,” you admitted, tears stinging your eyes. “I thought there was time. We've only been together for two years, I thought things could change. I'd feel different-”

“Hey, slow down. I need you to take a deep breath."

He was right. You were nearly hyperventilating, words jumbling together. You shook your head, trying to calm yourself, but the pit in your stomach taunted you. You couldn't help but think this was beginning of the end.

“A few weeks ago, that night Robin, Vickie and I were over, when I passed out on the couch during the movie. I kept going in and out of sleep when you were all chatting, and I overheard you talking about your dream life. Something like six kids, summer trips in a Winnebago across the countryside. Right?”

Steve looked perplexed, as if trying to connect the dots. “Yeah, that’s a dream I have, but it’s a long way off. Did that scare you? There are a lot of steps still-"

“Steve, it didn’t scare me. It’s just… I don’t,” your voice quivered, the trail of hot tears now streaming down your cheeks. “I’ve been meaning to bring it up, but I didn’t want to ruin everything. I thought if anyone could change my mind, it would be you. But-”

“About what?" He cut you off. "Honey, what are you talking about?”

“I don’t think I want kids, Steve,” you blurted out.

His face fell, and his eyes widened. It looked as if all the air had been expelled from his lungs. His mouth opened slightly, but no words came out.

Your words began to tumble out of your mouth faster than you could think them through. "We’ve never really talked about it. If I’d known how much you wanted kids, I wouldn’t have waited so long to tell you." You paused, your heart pounding. “Hearing you talk about a big family has pained me for weeks. I know, without a doubt, you’d be an amazing father. I just don’t think it will be to my children.”

“But you’d be a great mom,” he said, desperation clear in his voice. You weren't sure if he was trying to convince you or if it was just a fact he believed.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to be... I've tried to will the desire into existence, but I just don’t have it.”

Steve’s eyes glistened as he processed your words. You noticed his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek—a gesture he always made when he was getting emotional. You wanted to take everything back, wished you could turn back time and not say a fucking word. But he deserved to know, even if it meant you'd lose him.

The silence was deafening—the only sound in your ears was the thump of your heart, racing so rapidly you thought it might burst through your chest. A few minutes passed, but it felt like hours. You weren’t sure how much more of the quiet you could take.

"Say something, please," you urged.

Steve focused his eyes back on you. "Sorry, I never imagined us not having kids together, y'know? So I'm processing."

"I'm so sorry, Steve. One day it may change, but I'm not hopeful." A sob caught in your throat. "And it's not fair to either of us to prolong the inevitable on the hope that I’ll change my mind.”

"W-wait, what? Are you saying you want to end this?” He ran a hand through his hair, a deep sigh escaping him. He shrugged his shoulders, raising a brow as he added, "I'm confused how this conversation went from talking about marriage to breaking up?"

“Isn’t that where this is headed?"

“That's what you think?"

"Isn't that our only option, Steve? Kids are something you want out of life, and I’m fairly certain I don’t—how can there be a future for us?”

"We both want each other! We’ll figure the rest out eventually.”

“And when ‘eventually’ comes, and I still feel the same, what then? When years from now you realize something is missing in your life, and I'm be the reason for it—you'll resent me."

“No, I won't. How can you say that?” He leaned in closer. “Maybe it won't be exactly what I pictured, but this doesn't change anything for me."

“You say that now, but you don't know how you'll feel down the line!" You raised your hands, in an effort to emphasize your point.

“If I don't know how I'll feel, how can you be so certain I'll resent you then?"

“I could hear it in your voice, Steve. You sounded so happy describing that life. A life I can't guarantee. So it doesn’t matter how much I want this or how much I love you. You deserve someone who you can share those dreams with!"

Steve moved his hands to cradle your face, hazel orbs piercing yours. "Oh honey... don't you realize, in every scenario of my dream life, you’re there. Fuck... you're the most important part.”

You swallowed thickly, your heart fluttering at the sentiment, tears still trickling down your cheeks. You wanted to accept what he was saying, but fear gripped you. The thought of losing him, of him one day loathing you, was unbearable to fathom. "What if you change your mind?"

"Never, my love." He gently brushed away your tears with his thumbs, shaking his head softly. "Listen, we can talk about this as long as we need to. Come back to it as much as you'd like. But please hear me when I say, if kids aren’t in your future, they’re not in mine. You're my future—you always have been.”

"Baby, you know that dreams, they're for those who sleep / Life, it's for us to keep / And if I chose the one I'd like to help me through / I'd like to make it with you... I really think that we could make it, girl."

Despite your affinity for lazy Sundays in bed, this particular morning found you in the kitchen, flipping pancakes while laughter echoed from the dining room.

"I hope you boys are ready to eat!" you called as you plated the pancakes.

"You hungry, bud?" You heard Steve ask.

"Mhmm!"

"Alright, then let's put the crayons away."

After a few minutes, Steve waltzed into the kitchen, grabbing the plate of pancakes from you. "Smells amazing, baby." He pressed a kiss to your cheek before heading back to the dining room.

A few minutes later, you joined Steve and the doe eyed little boy at the table, enjoying breakfast together.

As you finished up, Steve was prompting a burst of giggles from the child, as he made Mrs. Butterworth talk.

"You're so silly, Uncle Steve!"

"He really is, isn't he, Jamie?" you said, a smile tugging at your lips at the sight.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I think Mom's here!" Steve said, standing up to answer the door.

As Chrissy stepped inside, Steve pulled her into a hug. "Oh my, it smells incredible in here!”

“Had to feed my handsome little man,” you replied, nodding toward Jamie, who was bouncing eagerly in his seat.

Chrissy approached the table, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “Did you have a fun at your sleepover?”

“Yeah!”

“Did you thank your aunt and uncle?” she prompted.

“Sank you!” he beamed.

"Seriously, you guys, Eddie and I owe you one."

"Anytime," you said, handing her the Tupperware you'd prepared in the kitchen. "I packed some breakfast for you and Eddie too."

"You’re the absolute best," she replied, pulling you into a warm hug as Jamie and Steve exchanged their goodbyes.

Jamie then came barreling towards you, as you knelt down for a hug. "See you, bud!"

"Ready to go see Daddy?" Chrissy said as she ushered Jamie toward the door. "Thank you both so much."

"You'll always have a sitter with us, never hesitate to ask," Steve said.

"Love you both!" Chrissy called back, you and Steve echoing her words, before closing the door behind them.

As you turned toward Steve, he had a wide grin on his face. "Well, that was... a lot." He laughed.

"A lot of fun, though," you added.

"Sure was." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "Bit of an odd start, but I think we can still manage a lazy Sunday. What'dya say?"

"Always."

Steve placed a kiss on your forehead, lacing his hand with yours, as you followed him through the hall of your shared home. The story of your love adorned the walls—from your first date to your wedding photos to your trips across the countryside. Today, you paid extra attention to them all, playing back all the memories in your mind.

When you reached your room, the soft morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a glow on your sheets. Steve bounced onto the bed, and as you stood at the edge, laughing, he pulled you down beside him, peppering your face with kisses and murmurs of "I love you."

As you nuzzled into the warmth of his chest, you noted the rhythm of his heartbeat. It calmed you, as his fingertips danced softly across your skin. His touch was intricate and delicate while he hummed a soft tune. You lay there, basking in the bliss of it all. After a few moments, you couldn’t help but ask, "Steve, what are ya thinkin' about?"

"That I couldn't have dreamt up a better life than this," he said, matter of factly.

And honestly, you couldn't agree more.

[his-lune]

☾ Just Like This | MiriTama ☽

A/N: Hi~ this is my first ever work for MHA. I haven't written in a year or two so I'm hoping my writing didn't get too bad 😭 requests are open, but please check out the requirements before requesting. Happy reading! 🩷

Relationship: Amajiki Tamaki x Fem Reader (ft. Togata Mirio)

Word Count: 2,793

Genre: Fluff, semi-smut (?)

Warnings: Making out, grinding, cumming in pants, mention of tentacles, implications towards future smut ;; I think that's all! Please let me know if I missed anything

It was a cloudy Saturday afternoon, the forecast called for a few showers here and there. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to spend time with your boyfriend of two months, Amajiki Tamaki. The two of you were in his room watching the second movie of the night. The first movie was full of action, but Tamaki decided to put on a romance movie this time, hoping to make the date more romantic.

As the beginning of the movie started, you noticed there was still a good amount of space between the two of you. While you wished you were cuddling, you knew your boyfriend was normally an anxious person. As the movie progressed, the indigo-haired male slowly started to shyly shuffle closer to you. Once his thighs finally touched yours, his face became red with embarrassment. His body was tense, nerves running through him as he couldn’t help but think if you were uncomfortable. Noticing how he started to slightly shake, you gently took his hand in yours and gave him a small smile. The action calmed him down, and the two of you put your attention back on the film, forgetting that your hands were connected. An action that would normally cause him to furiously blush and stutter.

Halfway through the movie, the lead actors passionately kissed, making you sigh. Your boyfriend glanced at you and noticed the longing expression on your face. Swallowing, he awkwardly turned to you, looking at you with anxiety. Feeling his gaze locked on you, you turned towards him and gave him a comforting smile, “Is everything ok, Tama?”

“Y-yes…” Tamaki whispered, gaze dropping down to your lips before quickly returning to gaze into your eyes. He didn’t know how to bring it up, never having been confident especially in these types of situations. “I just…” 

You hummed, letting him know he could take his time, “It’s ok, Tamaki. Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” Your thumb softly rubbed against his hand, once again soothing him. It’s silent for a few more moments before he can’t hold it back anymore. 

“I want to kiss you!” Tamaki squeaked out as he removed his hand from yours to completely cover his face. His cheeks were red, shoulders shaking as he hid from you. God, I’m so dumb. She’s going to break up with me now…

Biting your lip, you took hold of his hands and softly moved them away from his face. “Tamaki,” you cooed, voice sweet and comforting. His eyes shakingly met yours, gaze vulnerable. “I’d love to kiss you, too. But only if you’re sure you’re ready.” His expression lit up with wonder, shocked that you would want to kiss him as well.

“I d-do, I’ve been wanting to kiss you, i-it’s just,” Tamaki started, “I’ve… I’ve n-never done this b-before.” Knowing that he felt comfortable enough with you to not stutter as much filled you with warmth. 

Smiling at him, you got onto your knees to face him better, “It’s ok, Tama. We can go as slow as you need.” Your boyfriend nervously nods with a shaky smile. 

Tamaki shyly placed one hand on your cheek, the other hand hovering, not knowing where he should place it. He let out a quiet squeak when you moved his hovering hand to your waist. Scooting closer, you gradually leaned in, pausing just before your lips could touch, “Are you sure, baby?” 

Instead of saying anything, he just pushed forward and placed his lips on yours. Not realizing how much force he actually used, he ends up accidentally slamming his forehead on yours. You pulled away with a quiet wince, hand coming up to rub at the sore spot. Glancing up at Tamaki, you noticed his eyes widened with embarrassment and anxiety. He was hoping your first kiss would be sweet, romantic. Not painful. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice you calling out his name. His body trembled as he shakingly rose from his spot and rushed out of his room, slamming the door behind him.  

You stared at his bedroom door with confusion, lost on why he just rushed out of the room. Thinking he was just embarrassed about what had happened, and shy from his first kiss, you shrugged and got out your phone to pass the time. 15 minutes later and the only sounds filling the air were TikTok edits.

You brought your attention from your phone to the door that was silently opening. Sitting up straight, you watched as Tamaki walked in with Mirio trailing behind him. You raised an eyebrow at the sight of Mirio, questioning why he was even there to begin with. Looking back at Tamaki, you noticed his head down, not being able to meet your eyes. 

“Baby?” You asked, putting your phone on his nightstand. “What’s… what’s going on?”

Your boyfriend nervously glanced up at you before setting his gaze back on his bedroom floor. “I-I,” He swallowed and tried to steady his voice, “I asked Mirio if he’d.. If he’d b-be willing to show me h-how to k-kiss you…” 

Not knowing what to even say to something like that, you just stared at the two with wide eyes. Silence filled the room for a few moments as you tried to process what exactly was supposed to happen. Seeing you think, and noticing how his best friend was starting to get anxious, Mirio spoke up. 

“No need to worry anymore, I’m here to help you cuties!” Though Mirio’s grin was wide, you could tell how nervous he was to be there. Given how Mirio only lives 10 minutes from Tamaki, it's no wonder he got there so fast. You’re just surprised he actually agreed to this. Then again, it is Mirio and he’d do anything to help his best friend. Noticing how silent you were, Mirio started to get worried. He didn’t want to do anything if it’d make you feel uncomfortable. No matter how much he wanted to kiss you and feel your body on his.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Y/n?” Mirio asked as he stepped a little closer to where you were sitting on Tamaki’s bed. Said male was standing behind Mirio now, nervously shifting in his spot as he watched things unfold, cheeks flushed a bright red. Mirio noticed where your gaze was and cleared his throat, “I asked you a question, Sunshine.”

Looking back at him, your breath hitched in your throat at the lust that filled his eyes. He actually wanted to do this. If he was willing to do this, and Tamaki was the one to come up with the idea, then what was so bad if you were to say yes? 

The air was hot and heavy, tensions rising higher and higher the longer your lips were locked. It was a wet and messy kiss, Mirio’s strong hands held you close to his body. The blonde’s rough hands were trailing up and down your sides, slowly going under your shirt to feel more of your skin, wanting to feel all of you. You whimpered into the kiss once you felt how hard he was beneath you. Even without seeing, you could tell he was thick and long. Knew that he’d fill you perfectly if given the chance. Hearing the sweet sound that left your mouth caused Mirio to groan and hold you closer to him, shuddering when he felt the way your core brushed against his. One hand gripped your waist, and the other held your thigh, slowly guiding you to grind down against his hard cock.

“Mirio!” you gasped as your mouth parted from his, a string of saliva connecting your swollen lips together. Eyes fluttering, you gripped his shoulders as you continued to grind down even harder. Your moves became more frantic and desperate as you felt his cock twitch in his pants, chasing that sweet release you were so, so close to. 

Mirio grinned at the sounds leaving your mouth. Staring behind you, he caught Tamaki’s lust-blown eyes. Mirio prevented you from moving, relishing in the desperate whine you released. Grabbing your chin, Mirio cooed at you, “Shh, it’s ok, Sunshine. Why don’t you show Tamaki how much you appreciate him?” 

You nodded and slowly got off of Mirio and watched as he got up from the bed. He had gently grabbed Tamaki’s hand, helping him sit down on the bed where he just was. Mirio then turned to you and smirked.

“Go on, climb on top of him,” Mirio said in a husky voice as he watched the way you swung your leg to straddle your shy boyfriend. “That’s it. Don’t be shy, put all your weight on him. Let him feel how needy you are for him.”

Tamaki’s breath caught in his throat when he finally felt the way you felt on his lap. He felt so awkward, once again not knowing what to do with his hands. Was he supposed to immediately grab you and move you along his covered length? Or was he supposed to start slow? He had watched the way Mirio slowly riled you up with teasing touches and sensual kisses, but now that he was the one in that position, he was scared to mess up. He didn’t want to lose you just because he still didn’t know what to do. Having noticed the way Tamaki was just staring ahead with confused and shaky eyes, Mirio stepped up behind you. 

“Just like this,” Mirio mumbled as he guided Tamaki’s hands to your waist, humming in approval when Tamaki pulled you closer to where your chests were touching.

Tamaki let out a nervous breath as he shyly started to move your hips against his. He couldn’t help but whimper when your clothed core grinded against his cock just right. His fingers tightened on your skin, sure to leave bruises that you’ll stare at with lust later on. After he got used to the slow and gentle rhythm, he hesitantly placed his lips on yours. They were so soft against his own that he couldn’t help but use more force, his desperation apparent in his inexperienced movements. The kiss was sloppy and wet, but it was perfect. 

The feeling of kissing you felt so magical, so right. He didn’t want to be anywhere else but here. Right here, where your hips were frantic against his own thrusting hips. With the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard falling from your mouth, panting into his own. It had to be his favorite sound in the whole world, and knowing he was the cause of it? He was already so close to breaking apart, cock twitching in his tight pants, knowing there was a noticeable wet spot. Whether that spot was from your own juices or from his own leaking cock, he didn’t care. He loved it.

He wanted to have you cum on him, he wanted to cum on you. Yet, he also wanted to see you cum on his best friend. Did this make him a horrible boyfriend? Wanting to see you get off on another man? No, it wasn’t just some other man. It was his best friend. Only his best friend. He only trusted Mirio to treat you right, make you feel the way you deserved to feel.

Right as he felt like he was ready to cum, he broke away from your lips, panting hard. “Wait.. wait!” Hearing his desperate voice, you immediately stopped moving on him, cupping his face in worry. Seeing you about to ask him what was wrong, he quickly spoke up, “You didn’t do anything wrong! I loved every second of that… I just… I think I want to watch you m-make.. out… with Mirio instead…”  

“Are you sure, baby?” You asked him, voice soft and tender. He nodded as he glanced at Mirio, telling him with his eyes that he was serious and ok with it. 

“That’s it, Sunshine,” Mirio panted out, fingers tightening on your hips, “Being so good for me.” The praise left you whining with your mouth open. “Oh? I think your girl likes to be praised, Tamaki,” Mirio said to your boyfriend now, never taking his eyes off of you.

Tamaki moaned quietly, “S-she’s such a good girl!” The end of his sentence was cut off by him gasping and whimpering at the pleasure shooting through his sensitive body.

Both yours and Mirio’s attention locked onto where he was sitting in his desk chair, watching as he palmed his cock through his pants. The sight of his flushed cheeks, lustful eyes, and parted mouth paired with the way Mirio was moving you on his cock had you instantly crying out as an orgasm ripped through your body. Feeling your shaking body release on his lap had Mirio groaning and continuing to move you, helping you ride out your release. Not even a few moments later, Mirio had also started to cum in his jeans, thrusting his hips up against yours, wishing there was nothing that separated the two of you. The sound of your overstimulated whine was like music to his ears. He wanted to hear more sounds from you. As the two of you came down from your highs, you could hear Tamaki’s quiet voice. 

“Can…” Tamaki trailed off, staring at where you and Mirio were connected, “I want…” Mirio hummed as he helped you turn around to see your boyfriend better. “I want to make her…” 

Mirio grinned teasingly at his best friend, “Go on, Tama. Tell us what you want to do to your girlfriend.”

“I want to make her c-cum on me, too,” Tamaki embarrassingly said as he tried his hardest not to cover his red face in shame. The depraved words coming from your boyfriend had you ready for more already. Overstimulation forgotten. 

The blonde laughed as he felt the way you subtly grinded onto his still rock hard cock. Once again, he helped you off his lap, groaning when he saw the stain of arousal you left on the front of his jeans. Fuck, you were so wet for him. Once you were seated on Tamaki’s lap, Mirio took the desk chair and pulled it closer to the bed. His hand trailed down his toned stomach, coming to rest on his cock, palming himself to the sight in front of him. The view of you and Tamaki locked in an intense kiss as you dry humped each other had him feral with want. Pairing that with the sight of Tamaki lifting your shirt up to feel more of your skin against his hands made Mirio feel like he was going to lose his mind.

Mirio couldn’t help but to shove his hand down his jeans, fingers gripping and stroking his leaking length. His hand moved up and down slowly, trying not to orgasm too soon. He wondered how your hand would feel on him…His grip tightened and the speed of his movements sped up when he saw the way Tamaki’s fingers had turned into tentacles. God, the sight of the suckers latching and popping off your skin had him groaning with his head thrown back in pleasure. He knew the sight of the small circles left behind on your waist would never leave his mind.

“Oh? I think she likes your tentacles, Tamaki,” Mirio mumbled from behind you, hand coming to hold the back of your neck with his strong hand. When had he gotten up from his seat? “Maybe you could try that out some other time, hm? Would you like that, pretty girl?”

Moaning, you frantically nodded your head at his words, “Yes! Wanna feel them on me more, wanna feel them… Feel them inside of me!” You ended with a gasp right as you wrapped your arms around Tamaki’s neck, clinging to him as your body jolted from the pleasure rolling through your system. Tamaki cried out as he was also hit with his release, desperately holding you to his body, eyes squeezed shut.

It took a few more moments before you and your boyfriend finally released your arms from each other. Smiling at him, you lightly kissed his kiss-swollen lips. Mirio stared at you two with a soft gaze, happy he was able to help the both of you. Looking up at his friend, Tamaki shyly smiled at him. 

“Thank you for the help, Mirio,” Tamaki whispered, realizing you had fallen asleep in his arms, snuggled into his neck. He shuddered at the way your warm breath hit his neck. 

Laughing quietly, Mirio waved his hands, “It was no problem! I’m happy to help anytime!” His words had Tamaki’s mind racing with thoughts of what else could happen between the three of you…

©his-lune 2024 ;; Don’t plagiarize, translate, or post my work on other platforms.

[withahappyrefrain]

For the January OTP Prompts:

“I wish everyday could be like this” about Bradley and Birdie please ❤️

In honor of it being my first day back from winter break, let's see how these two spend Birdie's time off from school!

To call it a winter break was laughable. In San Diego, there was a better chance of getting out of school due to a power outage than due to snow.

Bradley's name for it was much more appropriate: time to snuggle my (future) wife.

"Roo, I gotta get up to feed the animals!" You tried to sound exasperated, but that was difficult with his mustache tickling the back of your neck. You weren't one for sleeping in on your days off, whereas Bradley was the opposite.

"It's too cold Birdie, gotta keep you warm," his voice was slightly muffled from pressing his face against your hair. Your heart flutters upon feeling his strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, keeping you firmly in bed.

"It's fifty-two degrees!" You practically shrieked as you tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip, to no avail.

"Exactly, it's cold," he smiled at the sound of your laughter, music to his ears.

"Aren't you from Virginia?" You scoffed, "Where there are mountains and snow?"

"I grew up near the coast, aka the beach. Now let me kiss you."

Laughter filled your shared bedroom as Bradley flipped you from your side to your back.

You tried to fight back, Bradley would give you that. For a brief moment, you thought you had the upper hand, tickling the sides of his bare stomach. His deep laughter began to fill the room, mixing with yours.

It was a beautiful sight; the way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, how his hazel eyes shined, how he made you feel so loved without saying a word.

You were so lost in the wonder that was Bradley Bradshaw, your hands fell to the sides, allowing him to quickly grab your wrists and pin them above your head.

"No fair," you hiss, "You're playing dirty."

He simply smirked, his head dropping down to your neck, "Thought you liked it when I played dirty, Mrs. Bradshaw."

You tried to ignore the way his deep voice made your thighs clench, fueled by the need to show you weren't complete putty in his hands because he used his favorite nickname on you.

"Well, if that's how you're gonna play," you turned your head to the side, "Shuna!"

Bradley's eyes widened upon hearing the sound of paws hitting the wooden floor, getting louder as they got closer to your bedroom.

Your rescue dog appeared at the door frame, tail wagging upon seeing her two favorite humans.

"Shuna! Go see Roo!" You exclaimed.

"You little- ahh! Shuna!" Bradley tried to cover his face with his arms, but to no avail. Shuna had jumped on the bed and was already licking Bradley, making her affection to him well known.

"Shuna, you gotta stop doing Mama Bird's dirty work," Bradley's arms scooped up Shuna, holding her like one would with a baby (minus the four limbs sticking up).

"Wouldn't have to if dad wouldn't play dirty," you teased, leaning over so Shuna would relieve Bradley and lick your face instead.

Shuna settled inbetween you two, making herself right at home in the bed.

Your hand reached out to pet her and instead found Bradley's, his fingers entwining with yours.

"I wish everyday could be like this," he said softly, looking over at you.

"Me too Roo, me too."

"Of course, to make it perfect, we just need a few little ones running away-" you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the way your cheeks were burning up at the implication of having kids, specifically Bradley's.

"How about you propose first, Romeo?" You smiled, squeezing his hand.

"I'm working on it. You said eight months was the minimum you needed to date before entertaining the idea of getting engaged, right?" Of course he would remember that, he remembered everything.

"Yes. Entertain a proposal, not accept one."

Bradley's eyes narrowed, gleaming with mischief, "I got two months left to convince ya. I'm confident Birdie."

[deadbeandrop]

This is campy-mccampface, I just don’t feel like asking from my main lol.

Any ships?

ok actually let me go over the stuff i've been interested in exploring in general here...

i'm going to classify all of this in two different ways: the level of relevancy to the "canon" storyline i'm working on, and the interest i have in things in my own little side zone where i am smushing dolls together like everyone else for fun

i also don't feel like getting into all the appeals of things rn but i might come back and add/update that here in the future

within the boundaries of the actual "canon" i'm trying to build, i think i want to stay away from too much explicit romance, just as a preference and because my brain works in a very specific picky-and-choosey way, and that's what feels correct in the plan to me right now... of course, there are still teases and hints of romance that i have planned, but i'm still working out the details on how they'll actually come across, as i am also a big fan of vaguely defined and non-traditional relationship presentations. so, when i say i ship something here, it's definitely notable for me to say that might not always look the same way or be about established Dating relationships, just tyat there is Something going on there and i'm explorimg it. sometimes i think it's more fun even for me to just do a little wink and a spin and let everyone else take what they want from it, as you would when actually writing a show. so, there are also things that do capture my interest even though i know i couldn't really "fit" them into what i'm doing, and occasionally my brain will sort of play tug-of-war with that, because even if i'm not adhereing fully to canon canon, i usually still stick hard to some kind of internal rules for myself and i can get a little caught up in that. alas, i wish to play...!

so...

Lumpus x Slinkman ▪︎ Involved in Canon / I ship it

everyone should know how i feel about this one by now...! obviously, they are my favorite ever, but they didn't always have a semblance of a happy ending planned out!

at first, i actually used to be quite adamant about not "shipping" them (as in, describing that as what i was doing) or wanting them to end up together in the end, partially due to early story ideas i was messing around with, and partially because I was worried it was Problematic in some way to do so. however, when you really get into it and look at what I'm doing here, i really don't think that's the case in the slightest. i was just, like, 15 years old. or whatever. still, they are for sure a complicated pair, but i have a lot planned out for them to show how much they mean to me ^_^

in terms of "canon", the majority of it comes from early implications and an absolutely insane batch of emotions on lumpus' end, as well as a lot of casual domestic stuff that very purposefully but also humorously evokes the feeling of "old married couple". they already live together, y'know. ultimately, i have them down as life partners, with some kind of a romantic friendship situation, but there's a good chance they will practically end up "together". my post-finale plans are essentially a "a break up, one party is about to be kicked the hell out, and now they have to win their partner back" plot! the thing is just that i'll probably spend a lot of time not "saying" anything out loud, but plenty of things will speak for themselves, really

Lazlo x Edward ▪︎ Potential to be Implied/Teased in Canon / I ship it

absolutely classic dynamic. i simply can't go wrong with it, honestly. i enjoy their relationship either way, and depending on how things go plan-wise, there may be some moments between them, at least. (you're going to hear that a lot on this post)

Patsy x Lazlo ▪︎ Involved in Canon / Sure!

a one-sided crush i am definitely keeping, if only for how much i like patsy!

for this pairing, it's still on the table for me to have a few different paths to it, and it's another case of mostly just finding their relationship in general interesting rather than being super invested in the fact that it's romantic. and i'll definitely be exploring lazlo's feelings on patsy's intensity and such, to the point of writing patsy with control issues there. the crush won't be reciprocated during the main summer plots, but i can imagine myself playing around with them post-finale in middle school or in high school for an amount of time, since that's something i've decided to probably have arranged. i'll see!

the thing is, i am one of those people who can't for the life of me decide how i feel on lazlo's sexuality, because i like pretty much every option! so that could always play into it too, who knows...!

Lumpus x Jane ▪︎ Involved in Canon / I don't ship it

of course i couldn't be throwing this one away either. regardless of anything else, i am always down for watching lumpus be a dumbass about jane, it's always fun and endearing to me.

however, as i've said on here, i really don't see a world where they work out that also isn't personally agonizing for me. or boring. or that doesn't feel borderline misogynistic. with how i envision things, it would either crash and burn immediately, or they would enable the worst in each other. it's almost inherently kind of depressing with how i view both of their characters, even if their dynamic in general to me is interesting! and of course, i do always have room to explore stuff like that, but i think not having it work out will always be for the best here.

i especially want to take the wedding plot in canon and do it justice, primarily for jane, because it's really unfair for her. it'll still have a similar premise of jane and lumpus getting engaged, but things will go wrong enough to put a stop to it before it all happens, and jane will actually be able to swing back from it all here.

Jane x Ms. Mucus ▪︎ Not Exactly Involved in Canon / TBA

i've gotta think about this one more, but i have already drawn them before a few years ago. ms. mucus in general i sort of need to reserve some time for myself to think about in-depth. still, they've already fit snugly into the Paralells zone, i feel like one-sided feelings from ms. mucus are totally believable, and for the aforementioned lumpus and jane wedding, it'll be ms. mucus who crashes it, which is inherently a little 🤨

Chef McMuesli x Slinkman ▪︎ Potential to be Implied/Teased in Canon / IDK!

i've just got a lot of thoughts about jane's sexuality, too, and by the end of things i think she really needs a break from any sort of romance...

ah, how far we've come...

as i mentioned, it took me a bit to come around to lumpus and slinkman, and this is what i was doing in the meantime. originally, it was these two who i was going to try and write something about and to have slinkman end up with, but, a lot of things have changed since then...!

i've also realized that since i was building this from scratch, i also don't really have a great foundation for it at the moment. i do absolutely still think they have the potential to be cute, but i'd have to sit and think about it again with more of a focus on the "whys" there, because, as it stands, lumpus and slinkman will ultimately be more fun and interesting to me and that's why they inevitably took over my entire brain

even so, in current plans, mcmuesli does still play a bit of a part between lumpus and slinkman, so depending on how things work out, there may still be a bit of a "tease" for them as well, just because of the parts of all those original plans i think i should keep. i do also have some old art of them i'll post eventually

Lumpus x The Bear Waiter from Beef Lumberjacks (I STILL WANNA CALL HIM TARSON) (I NEED TO MAKE A POST ABOUT THAT LATER) ▪︎ Potential to be Implied/Teased in Canon / I ship it

i won't lie i have been thinking about this something awful LOL

in the post-finale plans, one of the highlights there is lumpus actually branching out a bit and trying to make some kind of new friends because he's pushing middle-age and has barely had any in his entire miserable life — so this guy ends up being one of them ^_^ of course, the early-series encounter of hostility at beef lumberjacks comes first, and i can imagine him being involved in another thing or two with lumpus before the finale as well

(frankly, i just think the character is fun and i want more of him, and this is an extremely convenient way to do so)

and unfortunately i have become an absolute sucker for lumpus experiencing the most insane mix of emotions of his life in the presence of this guy, who's like twice his size, relatively unpredictable, and also has really taken a liking to him. and he's a real Guy friend, y'know, they're going fishing and hunting and watching football and stuff together and for once lumpus is not providing even half of the energy here, he's often the one getting dragged around. and it's unlocking stuff in lumpus he didn't even know he could feel, cus i sure love when lumpus is pathetic and reduced to a blubbering mess 😁

and once again the rest of the thoughts on this situation not, in fact, allowed to go on this blog— (SWIFTLY DODGES THE FALLING ANVIL ABOVE MY HEAD

Ms. Lawson (Scoutmaster's Assistant in the 80's) X Sheri (Lumpus' Mother) ▪︎ Implied/Teased in Canon / I ship it

when i post my little paragraphs and stuff on the era, it'll make a bit more sense in context of what's going on here. basically, at a certain point in time, ms. lawson is having to make phone calls home about lumpus, and she accidentally ends up in long-winded conversations with his mother, who is lonely and also has too much time on her hands. over the summer they end up chatting about other things, and she actually ends up calling regularly, and there's a sense of connection there that both gives ms. lawson a different insight on lumpus' situation and distracts her from what all the kids are actually up to out there LOL. they're sort of a "not meant to be" thing, at least at the moment, but it's really funny to make affair jokes about them as emotionally that's almost what it becomes when the idea started to begin with as a romantic-coded dynamic. and there's a few paralells as well between lawson-sheri-howard and slinkman-lumpus...!

Slinkman's College Girlfriend ▪︎ Involved in Canon / TBA

i'm kind of planning on throwing college-era slinkman briefly into like a roger/jessica thing and giving him a girlfriend for a little bit, for a few reasons, including that i think it's kind of funny and i have ideas for how that can play out with, y'know, lumpus being around,

the details on this one are still in the larva stage though. i also have a post about my many thoughts on slinkman's sexuality that have evolved over the years in my drafts

Edward x Nina / ???

once again still thinking about this, from nina to edward. i feel like it could be fun for an episode if i absolutely had to write another crush across the camps. i think it would be interesting for her to be weirdly and accidentally charmed by his "tough" demeanor that is also obviously demonstrated to be a cover-up. idk!

Slinkman's Parents ▪︎ Involved in Canon / I ship it

as well as other obviously established couples. they are honestly relevant enough in things and i enjoy them together enough that i can say i guess i "ship" them as well LOL i hope everyone enjoys them too when i finally share them, i think they are so very cute

ok that's about it i think. for now. i would joke about my self insert x lumpus and slinkman, but i'm not actually too big on self shipping in like an actual relationship or anything. i am in the cuck chair and i am alright in the cuck chair ❤️

[shallyne]

SJM Crackshipmonth: Royalty AU

Leaving You

Day twenty-two for @sjmcrackshipmonth ship: Mor x Lysandra.

Words: 729

TW: implication of abuse

Mor's father doesn't approve of the close friendship between Mor and Lysandra, so he decides to send his daughter away. Mor makes her own decision regarding her future

Mor and Lysandra were laying together in a hammock, limbs tangled as they looked up at the night sky. Neither spoke, just enjoying the other's company. They laid there since dusk, the air already grew colder as fall approached but no one dared to move. It was their last hours before Mor's parents ripped them apart, putting Mor on the other side of the continent and they wanted to spend every possible moment together. Mor's dress was damp from Lysandra's tears. Mor tried to keep it together but she miserably failed, her own tears sliding down her cheeks.

They both had met when they were twelve, at a gathering where their parents had sat them beside each other. She remembered how awkward it was at first but when Mor had complimented her dress, they both got along very well. They often sneaked around, getting scolded for not behaving like princesses but they never stopped. At fifteen, Mor had confessed her love for Lysandra and after the initial shock, she had smiled brightly at Mor. That was the most beautiful thing Mor had ever witnessed. Since then, they dated in secret, for almost six years now. Neither of their parents would approve of their relationship, that much they knew without a doubt. They were princesses, they were to be wed someday. Mor had heard her parents talk about the possibility of arranging a marriage with the eldest son of Beron Vanserra. She had never felt such horror as she did then, that's what she thought at least. Until her father announced he would send Mor away because he did not approve of her close friendship with Lysandra. Ironic, he wanted her to make friends with other princesses back then.

Of course he had threatened Mor again to disown her if she didn't listen, strip her from her title and throw her into the streets. He had always made sure that Mor felt a primal terror at his words, he made sure since she was a child. But now, as Mor looked up at the night sky, she didn't feel that terror of being disowned. She felt terror at losing Lysandra. She didn't want her family, she hated her family, all Mor wanted was her girlfriend. They would never be able to live a life if they stayed like this. Mor took a shaking breath, which made Lysandra look up, her green eyes still lined with silver.

"I'm not going." Mor said.

Lysandra shook her head, "Don't be ridiculous, Mor, you know what Keir said–"

"I won't go." Mor insisted, "I don't want this life. I don't want this castle, this family, this title. It means nothing to me."

Lysandra sat up, the hammock groaning as she shifted her weight. "What is that supposed to mean? What are you going to do? Where will you go?"

"I don't know, but I will find a way." Mor told her, pushing herself up, then stroked Lysandra's cheek with her thumb.

Lysandra put her hand over Mor's, leaning into the touch "What about me?" She asked quietly.

Mor swallowed, "I don't want to ask something of you that you're not ready for. I understand if you feel safer staying in the castle–"

"No." Lysandra interrupted, she sighed when a cold wind breezed through her hair. "I– It stopped being a safe place a long time ago."

Mor's hand trembled, "What does that mean?"

"I want to come with you. I would trade this life in an instant to be with you Mor. Every luxury for a moment with you. I'd even leave all my dresses if it meant being with you."

Mor laughed softly, "Are you sure? I need you to be really sure of this. If you have a doubt, any doubt,"

"No," Lysandra whispered, pressing a light kiss on Mor's mouth. "No doubt at all. I want this."

Mor nodded and smiled. Oh, how she loved Lysandra. Pressing a kiss to Lysandra's palm, she murmured, "We need to leave soon. Getting as far away before they catch us." because even if her father threatened to throw her out, she knew he would do anything but that. He'd find worse punishments.

They were long out of the city when Mor's maid entered her bedroom, finding it empty. No one ever found them, but they certainly found the place where they grew old together.

Taglist: @timesconvert

[lenacruz]

lena cruz is a good girl. girl next door. valedictorian. the girl you'd take home to your parents. she's never been in any major trouble, besides the occasional detention her best friend would get them involved in, but right now? she thinks she's getting stalked. no, she knows she's getting stalked. well, dumping a dead body in the atlantic ocean last summer could do that to a person. but the thing was that it shouldn't. they made a pact. a pact to take to their graves, a future therapy bill, if anything. and yet someone did know. i know what you did last summer. i know. the words echoed like a broken record in her mind. i know. i know. i know. it was a joke. a cruel joke. and whoever that was they knew where she lived. knew her routine, had possibly been watching her the entire time. so now the brunette was constantly looking over her shoulder, never going anywhere alone (especially at night), a million locks and a deadbolt on her door, bear spray and a pocket knife on her. realistically, it would've been smart to go to the police and it's not like she didn't think about that. but how was she supposed to be go to the police without implicating her friends? well, ex friends. it's not like any of them kept in touch, the only thing tying together was that night. lena thought putting a few hundred miles between her and her hometown would help. blacksburg, virginia. the college town of virginia tech. to say she fully immersed herself into the culture would've been an understatement. she spent saturdays tailgating, painting a vt on her cheek, at lane stadium. football games, basketball games, parties, anything to keep her mind busy. yet, lately all she could think about was that night. and that's how she ended up at a kappa sigma party nine hundred miles away. her roommate and best friend's idea, of course. "you better make sure nothing happens to her or i swear to god," there's daggers coming from the girl directly directed at her brother who lena found herself spending copious amounts of time with over breaks. clearly she was very fond of this family. "and you, i want you to try to have fun, okay? you've been so stressed lately." you have no idea, the brunette wanted to respond but could only smile and hug her as they agreed to keep in touch with the other throughout the night. as the two of them ventured into more of the party, enjoying each other's company, she swears she sees a ghost for a moment. drake? yeah, she knew he went to miami, but there were so many frats on campus. maybe it was her lack of sleep finally catching up to her. "hey, are you okay? what's wrong?" there is obvious concern in his voice. well, maybe she wasn't as good as hiding her emotions as she thought. "hm? i'm fine, i promise," she tried to reassure as she placed a hand on his cheek. "you know sattersfield or something, cruz?" sattersfield? the confirmation feels like a complete punch to the stomach. great, so she wasn't hallucinating after all. "no, he just looks like someone i knew once." well, technically it wasn't a lie. she did know a version of him once. wow, does she want to get out of that party as soon as possible.

smoke filled the milk white canvas of the sky, brushing along pockets of a purple haze, kissing the orange underlay of a sunset. miami, florida rarely got dark until well into the late evening. as drake sattersfield trudged out his phone that sat on its fourth placement of the night — this time, being the mantle of kappa sigma’s collection of member pictures — he forcefully plucked at the screen. illuminating 10:34 pm. shoving the device into the back pocket of his jeans, the sun scorched brunette fiddled with the tail of the lit up joint purses between his lips. the fraternity was an assembling of brotherhood. a sense of belonging. and in a phase of life where he wasn’t quite sure how to go on, college was the perfect distraction of what happened that last summer. one night was all it took to sober him up to the consequences of not only his actions, but what transpired after. oklahoma was a distant memory, a forgotten wasteland of not even physical sentiments that he planned on returning in any walk down memory lane. the ensuing pulse of the track music that scattered along the strategically placed speakers, the half-drunk drink dangling in one hand, and a random girl curled around his grip. it was an oasis of epic proportions. ever since he was initiated into kappa sigma, each night was a different story to tell. alcohol was slung from one corner of the keg room to the upstairs freshman hall. the nineteen year old was the furthest away from any recollection of the dead body being tossed into the nearby lake three-hundred and some odd days ago. somehow, he couldn’t remember the foggiest sense of any details that could be deciphered by the less inebriated minds than his own. sloppy lips doted on the neckline of the girl wrapped around his grip, soon leading the couple to peck, then full on making out. his breath hitched into the back of his throat as if he were struggling to breathe; yet he liked it. the lack of oxygen in that moment lead to a momentary high that not even he could replicate with the rolled up weed pinched between his thumb and forefinger. finally breaking the connection, a soddy chortle escaped his rose-pink lips. bright and freshly glossy. quietly, he paved a beeline up the stairs, almost nearing the railing before giving the floor level one more glance back. suddenly, it was as if he were sobered up by what his icy blue hues could gather. the silhouette. the curve of her. the same infecting smile. the mocha-hued orbs. holy shit. more than fifteen hundred miles away, and yet: it couldn’t be. “well?” the perky redhead mused, her perfectly manicured acrylic nail dusting along his cupid’s bow. immediately, he froze. and for a moment it seemed as though he couldn’t bring himself to look away. and for that brief moment, it had come and gone. it was better for him to forget. that couldn’t be her. that couldn’t be lena. of all people in a kappa sigma party in miami, florida? impossible.

[vonbergerpants]

What's your opinion on Caspar father if you don't mind because DEAR GOD I HATE THAT GUY

Hoo boy if anyone came in here expecting me to be a Leopold Apologist, they will be SORELY disappointed. This is a Leopold Hate Zone.

So! It's time for another essay!

Caspar's been gaslit to believe that his father is a great man, brave and powerful, fearless and to be feared, a fair and just man to his soldiers and deserving of utmost respect for his accomplishments, but shows classic signs of ignoring everything about him that makes him a terrible father, regardless of his status as a military man.

To place his son's value based on how well he fights is exactly what kept Caspar believing that fighting is literally all he's good for if all he's ever known is "I have to keep getting stronger just to prove myself" and that mindset starts with his father treating him as a soldier from infancy. Because he's known nothing but training and fighting, he believes he can't do anything else, even though we all know full well he's fully capable of trying.

He doesn't even know what to do with himself if he can't be relied on for his fighting ability, and then he deflects with more of his developed habit of training non-stop to the point of exhaustion!

Speaking of his training, how is it okay to force your kid to do insane training exercises that are considered ridiculous, to the point where he's even doing night training?

It's no wonder people think training's all he cares about, because he's been enduring it like THIS since he was a child and it's all he's been taught to do non-stop! Breaking away from that does nothing but good for him because he deserves a break, and we know he won't accept one.

Yes, in Hopes, Azure Gleam shows a hint of Leopold showing his care for Caspar by telling him he sent him to the Academy to give him his own future (please correct me if I'm wrong on this ; this is what I've heard, I haven't played AG because Caspar's fate there makes me far too sad), but don't think I forgot about 3H canon where all he did was ask Caspar about how his training is going, and not... you know, how he's doing???

Leopold doesn't know how to treat his son like a father should. He only knows how to treat him like a soldier. And I know that I'm placing my opinion on him based on modern standards, and let's face it, by that standard, most dads in this game aren't great. This includes Waldemar, I have my own separate opinion of him (spoiler: it's not a positive one). But I'm still allowed to hate what Leopold's mindset towards his son did to Caspar's development as a character (see my longpost about what breaking from the Empire does for him - his positive growth outside of Crimson Flower includes having to break away from his father).

Caspar doesn't even fully realize the implications of his father's actions unless he spends time at the Officer's Academy, where he learns for the first time of what Leopold's done to Petra's father. Where he weighs his own self-worth because he learns about it and sees it for what it is; a tragedy, which he believes he himself should weigh the burden of guilt for. This is where Caspar starts to see the cracks in his image of his father (and anything before it could be straight-up denial, but that's all headcanon), but those cracks conveniently go away once he follows the CF route.

And let's not forget the fact that he owns a grounding charm, an item specifically made to calm his anxiety towards thunderstorms. Where did that fear come from? Leopold. He literally gave Caspar a fear response to thunderstorms.

Leopold is a good general. He is NOT a good father.

In conclusion:

Leopold: I raised a perfectly good soldier.

Me: You raised a kid with self-worth issues is what you did. Look at him, he's got anxiety.

[sigurdjarlson]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks Greg slept with that waiter from the wedding. Especially since all of the guests were staying at the castle, but Greg has a waiter drive him?? The family has a car service! And he told him he had a great night like 👀 Spending the night with a man just to wake up the next morning and tell your boy best friend that his future wife is cheating on him

If he did sleep with the waiter it honestly has some really interesting implications on why they decided to put that in? (Because this show is so focused on the details and subtext it’s hard to believe they did this without thinking about the implication) and why here specifically? Tom’s wedding.

Like okay first I’ll say it’s possible he didn’t sleep with the guy and just like partied and fell asleep at his house but like why make a point of showing us this then?

First off if we assume he slept with the guy it tells us he’s gay or bi obviously. (And the guy drops him off to talk to Tom which is again an interesting choice)

But there’s also a reason more things that make the timing kind of hmm interesting to me.

Caroline just brought up his gay slutty dad (either the same episode or the one before it, I don’t remember) which again details.

Also can I just say his expression/reaction to it here is so interesting (and actually quite sad because as someone else pointed out this isn’t a normal greg reaction. Normally he laughs awkwardly or says something stupid but he just goes quiet and makes this face)

It’s been said before “Greg comes from a broken home. His dad isn’t around. His mom feels far away and his grandpa and him don’t have any kind of connection” (paraphrasing) and that was either Nic or Jesse I can’t remember

So it’s not a thing he wants to think about obviously. It tore up his family. It’s probably something he purposefully doesn’t think about. Greg has to is tendency to repress I think? (“I can take a lot in terms of psychological pain” is a line that haunts me

It visibly bothers him. Some people say maybe he didn’t know his dad was gay but I think he knew. He doesn’t look surprised, ask for clarification or more info or assume she’s joking..he just seems just sad and deeply uncomfortable. Understandably

Thanks for bringing up my deep rooted daddy issues that may or may not effect how I view my own sexuality ex aunt Caroline

But yeah I’m not sure if maybe they wanted to do something with all this and maybe chose not to explore it further or left it purposefully ambiguous

If he has feelings for Tom I don’t think it would be surprising if he tried to numb that pain (Tom is getting married right in front of him and not only that jfc Tom’s wife is cheating on him too and he has no idea what he’s gonna do with that) by going home with someone. Probably stoned and/or drunk.

I’ve also brought up the possibility that Shiv cheating on Tom brought up some of his own issues about cheating and divorce. Especially since Caroline so kindly reminded him of his dad. It’s one of the most selfless things we see Greg do in the show.

Granted he doesn’t want Tom to be mad at him if he finds out he knew and didn’t say anything but he clearly wants to tell him but isn’t sure he should “I owe it to him.” And he does tell Tom despite that being an absolutely terrible thing to have to tell someone.

And this is going into headcanon zone I suppose but I wonder if he weighed it in his head. I kind of get the impression his mom probably was even more of a mess than usual after the divorce (probably during their clearly not very happy marriage too). Broken home and all that

I wonder if Tom and Shiv’s relationship hits a bit close home to him.

And so he looks at Tom someone he does care about and wonders if he should tell him.

He could tell Tom, it’s the right thing to do right? Tom is his friend. He shouldn’t just let him go through with a marriage where his wife is blatantly cheating on him.

Or he could not tell him and let him be happy…but it Greg knows better than most that it will come out in the end (pun not intended) and it’ll probably hurt him all the more when it does. The betrayal will hit harder.

So he tells him and it ends with Tom attacking him. Which as Nic said just taught Greg there are certain things he can’t or shouldn’t try to talk about to Tom.

Which I’m not sure really blaming Tom for his reaction here that much. Obviously you should never put your hands on another person but I mean the volatile emotional response made sense. That’s not something anyone wants to hear (and Tom already pretty much knew I think but hearing it confirmed?)

Honestly it would have been wiser and serve his interests better for Greg to not say anything but..he doesn’t. It could be him being naive and underestimating how Tom will respond but I don’t think so. I think he knew the weight of what he was about to tell him. (Why bring up his dad’s own affinity for affairs in the same episode or was it the episode before..I don’t remember)

Just a lot of interesting stuff going on here. Especially if Greg is gay or bi and struggling with it. Caroline yanking all of his issues and feelings he’s buried to the forefront of his mind and the ramifications of that.

I for one think it would be really interesting to see how this would effect him if he had an affair with Tom. He’d be in a lot of ways becoming his father (in his mind at least) and I genuinely think that would be something that bothers him and something he struggles with.

Maybe he slept with the waiter because he needed to numb some pain. Whether it be because of what was brought up by Caroline or watching the guy he’s falling for get married to a woman who’s cheating on him.

Maybe they just wanted to give us the implication of Greg possibly being not straight.

Greg is written quite..ambiguously. I think that’s why takes on him tend to vary widely across fandom. He’s never been explored in depth the way the others have (I’m desperately hoping s4 fixes that) and while he’s not just the comic relief he is often put in that role.

[onionsoop]

Regrets /// Oikawa x nb!reader

Summary: After the last day of school you go over to Oikawa's house and start to talk about all the things you regretted not doing in high school. During that time though you confess to him after he pesters you about who you were interested in.

Length: 2.1k

Tags: Fluff, Childhood Friends, Kissing

Author's Note: Heyo, this is just some silly Oikawa fluff I decided to write cause I wasn't really in the mood to write smut these past few weeks. I might add more parts to this, but for now I'm working on Part 2 to the Nanami fic. Anyways, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes and enjoy :)

The clink of ice in a glass sounded from the other room. You let out a long sigh, closing your eyes, letting the buzzing from the cicadas outside fill your mind. Warm sunlight beamed in from the sliding glass door, lighting up his bedroom and falling across your legs.

It was the last day of the school year. The last day of school before you headed off to college. It had been a long and twelve years, filled with some of the hardest work you had ever done, but now that it was over you felt was a slight sadness. Thinking about what you had ahead of you felt overwhelming and you just wanted to spend your time enjoying this last summer break to its fullest.

The sound of footsteps approaching from the kitchen made you open your eyes, turning your head to look at him as he entered the room. Casual as ever, Oikawa entered the room holding two full glasses of lemonade and smiling at you. Oikawa, your neighbor and childhood friend since you were seven-- looking at him now felt no different than it had when you first met. Despite the fact that he had grown twice as tall and now had his hair styled in those perfect waves the cocky look on his face had remained the same. You followed his movements with your eyes as he set one of the glasses down next to you on the floor before sitting down with a heavy sigh, admiring the way the muscles under his shirt moved.

“So, how long until you leave?” he asked, staring out the window into the garden in front of you.

“Two months. I’m leaving for Tokyo a month early to get set up,” you said dismally. Thinking about how little time you had left made a shiver run up your spine. It felt like there was a foot on your back pushing you to move on while you still held on to the last scraps of your childhood.

“Any closer to deciding on what you’re going to do?” you asked, shifting your eyes over to look at him. He was sprawled out on the floor, back resting against the side of the bed and lemonade glass in hand, slowly swirling the liquid inside. He shook his head, a slight, sad smile forming on his lips in response. Both of you felt the same way about high school ending-- you knew it was unavoidable but neither one of you liked the implications it held and the future it brought.

“Did you make sure to pick up all your equipment? You know Matsukawa was annoyed last year when you forgot your uniform,” you said, nudging his shoulder, trying to liven up the conversation. His eyes flicked over to you, giving you a fake exasperated look that contrasted the smile on his face.

“Of course, of course, Iwaizumi pestered me about it endlessly, there was no way I could forget,” he said, nudging you back a little harder.

“Say, why didn’t you ever join the team? You were always so invested in all of my games and practices.” You fixed your gaze back on the garden in front of you, feeling the jovial mood in the conversation seep out of the atmosphere as memories of things you missed out on flooded into your mind.

“I’m not sure,” you said truthfully, “I guess I was just too busy. I wish I had.” Oikawa nodded, letting out an “mmm” in response.

“Well, it doesn’t matter too much, I’m sure you’ll have a chance in college,”

“Probably, doesn’t feel the same though. I know it stupid but it feels like high school is the time when you’re supposed to do things like that. Makes it seem like I missed a lot of opportunities,” you said quietly, sadness seeping into your tone.

“I doubt that, you were always a hardworking student so if anything you just prepared yourself more for the future. Things like clubs aren’t important,” Oikawa said, trying to lighten the mood. Even though he was usually able to distract you and cheer you up, you still felt the weight of your future still pressing on your emotions.

“I feel so left behind though, like I don’t have these core experiences that everyone else does,”

“I don’t think volleyball is that much of a core experience-”

“It’s not just that, there’s lots of stuff-- I was never in any clubs, I never made that cliche friend group you’re supposed to have, I’ve never even had a first kiss! Do you know how embarrassing that’ll be for me to go into college without even a first kiss?” you exclaimed a little louder than you wanted to. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes but you quickly forced them away, returning to your depressed composure. There was no reason to get so emotional. You glanced over at Oikawa who had a surprised but concerned look on his face.

“I… I don’t know, I think this is all just weighing on me cause school just ended. I guess I don’t feel prepared,”

“It’s alright, I understand. I’m sure everything will get better in the next few months though.”

“Yeah, probably... I just wish I could go back and redo things, I feel so much regret…” you said, staring down at your drink, watching the condensation drip down the sides. You felt a little guilty putting this all on Oikawa, but you couldn’t quite shove away the depressing feeling that clung to you. There was an awkward pause and you felt Oikawa shift beside you.

“What would you go back and change?” he asked tentatively, meeting your eyes. You opened your mouth to answer but stopped when you realized you weren’t quite sure. You had never really thought about what exactly you would go and change, it felt like there was never really any point.

“I’m not exactly sure. I guess for starters I would go and join the volleyball team, then maybe try and connect with people more often. I was pretty standoff-ish most of the time wasn’t I,” you said, earning a chuckle from Oikawa.

“Makes sense, what would you do about that first kiss situation though? You seemed pretty distressed about that,” he said, a slight smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. You let out a small laugh, rolling your eyes and feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Out of all the things you felt you missed out on, that was the one you had actually given some thought to.

Over the four years you were in high school, you had multiple crushes on different people, but had never really been able to connect with them. At the current moment though the only one you remembered was the way you had liked Oikawa ever since elementary school. You had tried to build up the courage to confess to him back then, but once middle school hit and he got a girlfriend you buried your feelings as much as possible.

“I-I’m honestly not sure. There were a couple people I was interested in but I’m not sure anything would have ever really worked out with them.” You averted your gaze from him, trying to hide the blush forming on your cheeks, making you miss the intensity in his eyes as he asked you the next question.

‘Oh? Like who? Anyone I know?” he said, leaning forwards with a teasing grin on his face.

“I- I don’t think so, it wasn’t really anyone ever well known,” you said a bit too quickly, trying to blow it off with a slight laugh. You thought about all the times you had wanted to tell him about how you felt. You knew you had wanted to for so long, but was it even a good idea?

“Aw c’mon, can I at least get some names? You shouldn’t hold back information like this from your best friend Y/N,”

“I-... um-...” You couldn’t think of anything to say. The name of every guy you had ever known vanished from your head and the only one left was Oikawa’s. Your mind raced to try and think of something to say but nothing came to you. The room suddenly felt too hot and the noise from outside buzzed in your ears, distracting you from thinking properly.

“I-It’s a secret,” you said, regretting the excuse as soon as it came out of your mouth. Oikawa’s smile quickly dropped to be replaced with an expression that said “seriously?”

“We’re not even in school anymore, how can it be a secret?”

“It- It just is. I don’t want you to know, it’s embarrassing,” you said, becoming more aware of the hole you were digging yourself. There was no way you’d be able to lie your way out of this. The blush on your cheeks had transformed into a crimson shade that ran all the way up to your ears, showing that the words you said were lame excuses if it wasn’t already apparent.

“Come onnnn, it can’t be that bad, just tell me,” he said, poking you in the arm. Oikawa’s prying was becoming harder and harder to manage as you scrambled to find a way out of it. Your mind was barely working and had formed into a mess of pure panic. You wanted to give up and just tell him, but your mind was jumping from pros and cons too quickly for you to choose. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you tried to answer.

“W-Well… it’s you.”

It felt like everything in the room stilled as soon as you spoke. The panic you felt before almost seemed to enhance and you felt a feeling of regret slam into you. What were you thinking? Your eyes flicked to Oikawa who was staring at you wide-eyed with his lips slightly parted in shock. Your lower lip began to tremble and your palms felt too sweaty where they were in your lap. Every atom in you felt the urge to run, but you were frozen in place. Fuck.

“W-What?” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“I-I’m sorry, pretend I didn’t say anything,” you blurted out, whipping your head back to face the garden. You started staring intently at a bush outside to try and concentrate on anything but the rising fear in your throat.

“You like me?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I-I don’t know, I didn’t think you would reciprocate. W-Which it’s okay if you don’t...” you said, slowly shifting your gaze back to him, searching for any emotion on his face besides the intense stare he was giving you. You felt like your heart was about to pound out of your chest. Finally telling all of him this wasn’t as relieving as you thought it would be. Instead of feeling like a weight was lifted off your chest, being in this limbo had caused you to feel even more crushed by your decision. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath, trying to calm down.

Faster than you could process, you felt his hand reach up to cup your cheek and his lips press up against yours. Your eyes shot open and you scrambled backwards, pulling away from the kiss.

“W-What are you doing?” you said, eyes wide and staring at Oikawa who was inches from your face.

“I-I’m sorry, I like you too, I thought it would be okay-” You didn’t let him finish his sentence as you slammed your lips back into his. Finally, you felt that wave of relief wash over you. Happiness swelled in your mind. You had to concentrate on keeping the corners of your lips from forcing your mouth into a smile. Your first kiss. Right then and there. It was all you could have ever hoped for and with the guy you had always dreamed it would be with.

You felt Oikawa’s arm move from its place on your cheek to reach around your back. He pulled you closer to him and you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his soft hair brush against your fingers. You melted into the kiss, savoring the warmth of his lips against yours.

He pulled back looking into your eyes as you let out an unsteady breath before smiling up at him. You could feel almost every part of you shaking from the adrenaline. You were lightheaded and found it hard to breathe, but you felt like you couldn’t be happier at that moment.

“So… would you like to be my significant other?” he asked, rubbing you back with his thumb.

“Yeah- yes please.” You beamed up at him, letting out a small laugh.

“You sure were surprised at that kiss, huh,” he said, a smirk coming across his features.

“Shut up!”

You gave him a slight push, both of you laughing as he held you in his arms, relishing the feeling of finally being with him.

[mostlyonthefloor]

Thank you very much for asking and also thanks hap in the replies. I will briefly recap the premise of DBH (I will not briefly recap brotherband sorry hap... read them to understand i suppose)

Detroit Become Human is set in the future, in a world where people have developed androids that basically do a lot of the work for them. They're programmed to do everything, work all the time, never complain, etc, but some of them begin to deviate, ie. begin to do things that aren't in their programming, such as think for themselves and make independent decisions and have feelings. This happens when their "software instability" goes up when they skip around commands or prioritise what they want over their programming, and there'll be like one big moment where they consciously break through their programming and from then on they're a person with a consciousness, but a lot of humans refuse to accept that and the core plot of DBH surrounds an android rights uprising and a police unit dealing with suppressing deviants. That's all the important stuff I think.

I'm going to put the rest under a read more actually because this is going to get LONG sorry lmao

So Hal is a detective/engineer/tech guy who works for the police, and Stig is an android who's been assigned to him for groundwork, because he's been put on a new case where he might be in danger. Stig's type of android is specialised for combat and handling potentially dangerous crime-scenes, so they become a little team. Let's say Hal does some sort of forensics actually that'd make sense.

Basically Hal is a disaster who can't look after himself to save his life because he's so determined to Get Things Done at work, and Stig evaluates that Hal would be more efficient if his house was tidier, if he ate better, etc. so he starts going home with him to facilitate that and they just end up spending heaps of time together. Hal begins to get fond of this stupid blond robot, Stig begins to get more attached to keeping Hal safe and happy than his programming should allow, they end up in lots of dangerous bonding situations, etc.

They attend a scene, Hal gets shot, Stig is nearby on standby with some other police bots and decides to override his primary objective of remaining on standby to administer first aid to Hal, who is fucking bleeding out on the floor (not ideal). He deviates in doing so. Later, when Hal's fine and they've both gone home, Stig is just like uhhm Hal please don't be mad I'm a deviant. Hal, who has had a Character Arc where he grows fond of this stupid hot blond Siri-ass assistant dude, is just like well ok deviants are supposed to be murderous and stuff but you look like the only thing you want to do is cry.

They successfully hide Stig's deviancy together for a couple of months (Stig just pretending to be normal lmao) until for whatever reason, it's found out and both of them have to desert the police force and run away. They find a sort of underground society of deviants and sympathetic humans and get together the rest of the Herons:

Ulf and Wulf: two androids of the exact same make and model who deviated together and went Welp We're Brothers Now. Not sure what they did before they deviated

Jesper: android. again, not really sure what he did before he deviated. Very sneaky because he's optimised all his systems to be absolutely silent

Stef: android. I feel like he was a customer service robot idk he has the vibes. Very good at synthesising other voices and sounds.

Ingvar: human. Literally ran into Ulf and Wulf in a train station one day and since his sight is a bit rubbish he just assumed they were humans and started chatting and then when he found out they were deviants he was just like oh well I guess deviants are people and the government is lying to me. I'll Incorporate That Into My Worldview

Edvin: med student who was kicked out of med school for being implicated in a group of humans sympathetic to deviancy. Hal fixes the androids, Edvin fixes the people.

Thorn: washed-up detective. Basically Hank from the game, complete with alcoholism and tragic backstory, but then his colleague and godson goes and gets himself and his android mixed up in a deviancy scandal and while he's trying to sort it out he talks to Stig for ten minutes and is like wow yeah that's an actual guy.

Lydia: Just like in the books, I think Lydia is Just Some Gal who has the mild misfortune of ending up in these guys' path. Human, maybe mixed up in something dubiously legal already, anti-establishment enough that she's like, yeah ok I'm ready to believe the robots are sentient and deserve rights, immediately without needing to be convinced.

And finally, Kloof: Hal finds her in a box and takes her home. He loves her.

Honourable mentions:

Rollond: one of Hal's co-workers, more of a ground forces guy. Dell is his android and they kick ass together (Dell was assigned to him to try and stop him doing stupid things in the name of public good. It didn't work)

Nina: another police bot. Maybe Lotte's assigned android?

Tursgurd: I think he's another guy from the police force (the whole gang work in like a single unit or on a single project I think)

That's mostly it ✌️ thanks for reading i guess

Someone ask me about my Brotherband Detroit: Become Human au please I don't care if anyone here even knows what DBH is I cooked it up in my brain like six months ago and tonight it kicked down my door and took up residence rent free in my brain someone let me tell them about it

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

My Light in a Dark Place — Thirteen (Tamaki Amajiki x OFC)

MASTERLIST | MLDP MASTERLIST

A/N: The rest of this story is practically written (I'm finishing up the last part), so I'm hoping that I can post the parts on a better schedule, but we'll see. This part is pretty tame compared to what is coming next chapter. Be ready.

Chapter Warnings: a cuss word or two; the implication of Seto being a douche of a person even though he doesn't star in this part

Words: 3.4k

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future parts!

“Uraraka wants to know if you want to go out with her and some of our old classmates tonight,” Kirishima tells Yuki a couple of days after the anonymous messages started. “She says it’s a girls’ night. She also says she’s been trying to ask you the last two days but hasn’t heard back from you.”

Ever since the first text from the unknown number, more and more have come in under different numbers, so Yuki refuses to carry her phone on her. She leaves it with which ever hero she’s around because she can’t bear to see what they say about her. Every text goes to Fat Gum, too, hoping to get a lead on Seto’s whereabouts. Something has yet to come out of it.

Yuki looks at Kirishima from his kitchen where she and Tamaki are working together to make Sunday lunch. “Will it be safe?”

“You’ll be with some of the strongest Pro Heroes of our generation,” Tamaki says. “One of us can also stay close by if that will make you feel safer.”

“Of course, that’ll make me feel safer.”

“We won’t interrupt girls’ night either,” Kirishima adds. “You’ll just have a guardian angel or two ready to join a fight if there is one.”

Tamaki nods. “And we can ask one of our female friends to escort you around if you ever need to go somewhere alone… like… like to the bathroom.”

Kirishima points at Tamaki. “You better not be thinking of Yuki going to the bathroom.”

The manifest hero turns red and actually exclaims to the redhead that he isn’t. It causes Yuki to chuckle and rub his back when he turns back around to focus on cooking.

“If we can make it work, I’ll go.”

“I’ll let her know the situation. She’ll be happy to hang out with you, though. Izuku’s been talking about how much she wants to see you.”

“I don’t think we’ve seen each other since the wedding. It’ll be good to get together with some women for once..”

Kirishima snickers. “Yeah. You spend too much time around men.”

“Two men, for your information.”

“You like it.”

“I never said I didn’t,” she teases back. “I like both of you very much.”

“Uh-huh. But we all know you have a favorite.”

A blush appears on both Yuki’s and Tamaki’s face.

Even though they haven’t talked about making whatever is going on between them official, Tamaki has asked her out for lunches and dinners over the course of the last couple of days. He’s always sweet about it and asks in cute ways, too. The night before, he quietly asked if he could make dinner for her while giving her a small sunflower. He later admitted that it was damaged during delivery and had a broken stem he cut before giving it to her. Tamaki also apologized for it because he didn't want to give her something that was going to be thrown away, but Yuki wrapped him in her arms and told him it’ll look much prettier on her windowsill than as compost. The quick kiss she left on his cheek made him feel much better about it and extremely flustered.

“That… That doesn’t matter,” Yuki says, going back to taking care of lunch. “I like you both.”

Kirishima chuckles. “It’s okay to admit it, Yuki. I hear about every one of those dates you go on.”

Tamaki turns his head to look at Kirishima with wide eyes, “E-Eijiro!”

That makes Yuki stifle a laugh behind her hand as she watches Tamaki turn bright red. “I tell him about them, too, Tama,” she says.

“Yeah. I hear what happens from both sides,” Kirishima grins. “Do you guys know how cute you are? To think you’re still not officially a couple yet. But I get it. You want to be absolutely sure it’s the right move.”

Yuki looks at Tamaki right as his eyes shift to take her in. The thing is, I am sure I want to be with Tama. I almost made a huge mistake, so I don’t want to second guess myself. I don’t want to lose him. Her lips curl up some before she finishes making her side of lunch.

Little does Yuki know, Tamaki is just as sure that he wants to be with her. The only thing stopping him is his anxiety and that small fear that she will say no despite agreeing to go on several dates with him so far. The doubt he might have had a week ago isn’t hanging over him anymore, but he still finds himself in awe of someone like Yuki having feelings for him.

He watches her reach up and take out plates from Kirishima’s kitchen cabinets, placing each plate out on the counter. Her smile when she asks for his finished part of the meal, puts his heart and lungs on pause as he hands it over, studying the care in which she portions out their food onto each plate. Every move she makes somehow shows her—dare he say—love for him and Kirishima, the smile and soft glow of her skin revealing how deep her emotions run. How did he ever get so lucky to find someone like Yuki to be in his life?

A little laugh comes out of Kirishima's mouth watching Tamaki stare at Yuki, literal sparkles in his eyes. He never doubted Tamaki's feelings for Yuki, but he's always amazed by how it shows on his face. And this level of adoration for her is so different from before. Kirishima is sure this is the sort of scene he'll see a lot of when they finally make their relationship official. They’re sweet as a couple of friends navigating something new and exciting, something potentially lasting if they take the next step together.

"I feel like I should leave," Kirishima jokes, "and it's my house!"

"You have all the freedom in the world to pick which room you want to hide out in then," Yuki says, smirking at him as she grabs utensils for them.

"So quick to shun me away to be alone with the man of your dreams!"

While Yuki laughs and teases Kirishima for his dramatics, Tamaki feels his heartbeat speed up and his palms getting a little sweaty. Him the man of Yuki's dreams? Surely, her perfect man is braver… more like Mirio. Or maybe more like Kirishima. There’s no way that he is everything Yuki wants in a significant other. 

Everything comes to a halt when she looks over her shoulder at him. It’s almost like slow-motion for him. Her skin is glowing and her pretty eyes are alight with mirth. Ever so slowly, her lips curve upward more and she tucks part of her platinum hair behind one ear. 

Tamaki may not believe he’s what Yuki truly wants in a man, but he’s absolutely positive Yuki is the woman for him. He’s never felt more sure about a person in his entire life and to think she was always so close. But they didn’t meet until Kirishima recommended her flowers for his two best friends. Tonight. After she spends time with her friends, he’ll make it official. He has to before she slips out of his hands again. No more missed opportunities.

“Here,” Yuki says, taking his attention from his thoughts as she hands over his plate of food. “It looks so good.”

Kirishima walks over and takes his plate. “Thanks, guys. I can’t wait to eat it all.”

“Do you want to eat at the table or should we put a movie on while we eat?” Yuki takes a bite of food and hums in delight. “So good!”

Tamaki smiles at her, noting that she ate what he made first.

“What time do you need to get back to your place to get ready for this evening?”

Yuki looks down at her short-sleeved dress that matches the lavender color of her eyes. “Do you think this is okay to get drinks in?”

“I mean, you’re not there to attract anyone, so it’s probably fine. You look cute.” Kirishima shovels some food into his mouth. “But you don’t want to put any makeup on or put your hair up?”

“Not really.” She smiles at Tamaki, who mirrors her joy in his softening features as he takes a bite of his food. “Someone told me I’m pretty without all that.”

“You are,” Kirishima agrees.

Tamaki nods, cheeks turning pink at the reminder of what he said when they went on their first date. He thinks she’s prettiest when she first wakes up in the morning, stretching out her lithe body, sending him a sweet smile and curling back up against his side. The realization that he won’t get to see that when they catch Seto unless he steps up and asks her to be his girlfriend is something he doesn’t want to think about. Especially if he intends to get some courage to make their relationship official. He won’t be without that sweet morning image as long as she wants to be with him, too.

Kirishima drops his fork on his now empty plate and sighs. “That was delicious. Once you guys are done, leave the dishes and I’ll take care of them since you put lunch together.”

“I don’t mind taking care of your dishes, Kiri.”

“I know, but I’m not letting you after you helped make lunch. Don’t even try to sneak away and do them either. I’ll make sure Tamaki keeps you in his arms, so you can’t leave.”

I wouldn’t want to leave anyway. “You propose a tempting bargain.”

“Duh!” He nudges Tamaki’s arm. “And I know Tamaki would be happy for an excuse to cuddle with you.”

Yuki laughs. “He doesn’t need an excuse.” Her eyes land on the extremely red hero. “Tama can cuddle with me whenever he wants. I don’t mind.”

“I-I’m right here…” Tamaki says, nervously toying with the end of some hair he left out of his ponytail.

“Sorry, Tama,” Yuki says, reaching over to rub his back. “How do you feel about cuddling during the movie? Do you want to?”

He nods, the color in his face reaching the tips of his ears.

“Great!” Kirishima says. “Finish up and hold her hostage after picking out a movie so I can clean up.”

“Is it holding me hostage if I want him to do it?”

“Guess not. Now eat quickly. Tamaki is going to finish before you and take you away if you don’t clean your plate.”

Yuki’s brows furrow until she sees Tamaki take a massive bite with amusement in his eyes. Oh, shit. He’s going to follow through with it, isn’t he? Her eyes widen and she takes an equally big bite, cheeks stuffed like a squirrel. She puts her hand over her mouth, making both men laugh at her antics. 

Minutes later, she swallows the last of her food and is suddenly swept off her feet and into the arms of Kirishima, who laughs at her squeal and passes her to Tamaki. The laughter quiets a little when their eyes meet, but Kirishima shoos them out of the kitchen before their moment can continue. Luckily, it isn’t completely lost even after Tamaki places Yuki on the couch and sits beside her after grabbing the remote for the television.

“What do you… want to watch?” he asks her, looking over to see Yuki smiling sweetly at him.

“Nothing scary or too action-packed.” She leans closer and lowers her voice some. “I really don’t mind what we watch because I expect to sleep through most of it.”

“Are you t-tired?”

“A little. Nothing to be concerned about, Tama. Movies make me sleepy anyway when I’m comfortable with the company around me.” She curls her fingers into her palm, holding it up to her cheek, and mimics the movement of a cat’s paw. “I’m a lot like a kitty!”

Tamaki can’t get over how cute she looks—his feelings stirring his chest violently. He almost grabs at his chest in case it explodes. “A-A comedy then?”

“Sounds good,” Yuki smiles. His rosy cheeks are so cute. I think his ears are going red again, too. Gosh, I wish I could have known Tama sooner. I can’t get enough of his presence. She softly touches Tamaki’s bicep and meets his curious gaze. “Wanna go on another date soon? Maybe… tomorrow?”

“Wh-Where do you want to… to go?” He can’t believe Yuki is asking him on a date.

“We could go to a park or take the train to a different city or stay at home and order in. I really just want to spend time with you, Tama. I… I like you.”

If only his face could stay a natural shade. “I-I-I like y-you, t-to-too.”

She giggles and drops her head on his shoulder. A quiet “cute” is said under her breath.

And Tamaki hears it, heart faltering. Again, he can’t fathom someone like Yuki finding him cute when she’s so radiant. Literally. He wants to pull her into his chest and hold her like he'll die without her. Instead, he opts for wrapping an arm around her shoulders, allowing her to snuggle closer to him. Tamaki has the greatest gift of his life next to him and his heart feels so full.

By the time Kirishima has the dishes cleaned up and joins the couple in the living room, a random comedy is on, but no one is watching.

Yuki has found her spot against Tamaki, head on his shoulder and arms around his waist while the tip of her nose barely touches the hero's neck. Tamaki—on the other hand—is trying his best to look at her and not disturb her. When she snores, Tamaki smiles and brushes his fingers through her hair. It's the purest scene Kirishima has witnessed between them so far.

"So… when are you gonna ask her to be your girlfriend?" Kirishima keeps his voice low as he sits down.

Tamaki shrugs carefully. "Maybe… tonight? A-After taking her home."

"You want to wait that long?"

"Sh-Should I try when she wakes up?"

“If you want to. I can leave the room when she does to give you some privacy. Or you can wait until tonight. It might be easier for you to ask at her place since you’re pretty familiar with it. She hasn’t been to your apartment, has she?”

“No. She’s never asked to come over.”

Kirishima smiles at his friend. “You know you can invite her over without her asking.”

“Do you think she wants to see my apartment?”

“You doubt her too much, Tamaki,” Kirishima says. “Of course, she wants to see where you live. It’ll give her more insight into the man she clearly has feelings for and Yuki loves learning who her friends are by exploring the spaces they spend the most time in.”

Tamaki looks at Yuki when sleepily lifts her head, only to shift enough to lie down and use Tamaki’s lap as her pillow. He gets nervous that she’s heard their conversation until Kirishima gets up and lifts her hips enough to pull the skirt of her dress down her legs since it rode up. She doesn’t even notice Kirishima’s touch.

“I heard you talking about another date, so maybe invite her over to your apartment and you can make her dinner or something. She’ll like that a lot. She will probably sleep there, too, if you let her.”

There’s something to be said about the image of Yuki snuggling under his covers in his bedroom that makes Tamaki crave for her presence in his home. She’ll light up the whole place and make it a warm place to be. He really likes the idea of Yuki coming over and staying the night.

“I-I’ll talk to her about it then. I… I would like to have her over.”

Kirishima nods, watching Yuki re-wrap her arms around Tamaki’s middle and nuzzle her cheek against his thigh after she settles. “She’s so cute. You’re lucky to have such a sweet person who shares your feelings.”

“Did… Did you like her? I mean, a-after you two…”

“Other than the initial lust when we first met, I’ve only wanted Yuki as a friend. She’s beautiful and kind and every man’s dream, but she’s not the person for me. Her love was never meant for me and we both knew it early on. But I’m starting to believe she’s meant only for you and has been for a long time. Even before you guys met. You complement each other well, maybe even better than Mirio and Nejire or Izuku and Ochako. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something special between you. Makes me wonder if the universe always meant for you two to be together.”

The feeling is mutual. Tamaki noticed the closeness between him and Yuki, and how easy it was to be that way with her. In the past, he was always uncomfortable getting close to whomever he was dating—not that his list of exes is long. It felt like a chore sometimes to be the way he easily can be with Yuki. He can’t decide if it’s because Yuki is so aware of who he is and constantly makes sure he’s okay or if it comes naturally with her.

“Do you think so? I… I really like her, Eijiro.”

“I know you do. It’s easy to tell. She likes you just as much, bro. Maybe even more than we realize. She has always been a fan of yours, so you’re already pretty high on her favorites list. And I know that time you helped her when I was gone brought her appreciation for you super high. I think that’s when she started using you as her go-to rather than me.”

“You’re not… mad about that, right?”

“Nah. I enjoy taking care of Yuki and having her around, but I always knew—and hoped—someone else would come into her life to take over that role.” Kirishima leans back in his seat with a satisfied grin. “You know, if you guys get married, she can finally let go of the pact we made. I think she dated some jerk about a year ago that she broke up with after a month. That’s when she proposed a pact to get married to me if we were still single at 40.”

“M-Married? I don’t know if she’d want to… to marry me.”

“I don’t know. She might. It’s too early to tell. But I hope it’s a possible future for you. Can you imagine how cute your kids would be? You could have a baby kinda like Todoroki with the two-colored hair and two Quirks. Of course, you guys would actually treat your kids well and not make having kids about the power they’d have.”

“K-Kids? Oh, I c-can’t think about… Oh…” Tamaki trails off to fight back any inappropriate thoughts that instantly flood his mind. Yuki is so pretty to him, so beautiful, and the minute he dwells on that, his thoughts imediately get inapporiate and he’s not okay thinking about that considering they’re not even official. He didn’t have those thoughts initially, but the more time he spent with her and saw her in those moments where she felt the most comfortable, the more they popped up in his head. Now, he has to put a lot of effort into not letting his mind wander because those thoughts always pop up. Kirishima talking about making babies with Yuki isn’t helping.

“Sorry,” Kirishima says, noting how flushed Tamaki is looking. “No more kid talk then. How are we going to handle tonight? I know you’re covering a patrol for a little bit, so I’ll go with her. I’m guessing you’ll want to come by and hang out.”

“Yeah,” Tamaki nods, grateful for the subject change.

“We can both stick around, too. The more eyes we have watching her, the better. I don’t know what this Tanaka dude is capable of after getting away with so many assaults, so I don’t want to risk anything happening to her.”

Kirishima gets another nod from Tamaki. “I don’t want to risk it either… I didn’t… like the way he looked at her… and t-talked to her.”

“Same. And what he said to her when she kicked him out… God. If he’s the one saying those things to her, sending all those messages… It’s disgusting.”

Tamaki brushes some of Yuki’s hair away from her face. “I don’t want him to hurt her…”

“That’s why we’re going to protect her until we know she’s safe. Based on what those messages have said, she’s being watched and we can’t risk her being alone. Guys like Tanaka have no place in the world.”

“We’ll… We’ll take care of Yuki,” Tamaki says, gazing at her peaceful looking face. He never wants to see anything but a smile on her face and he will do everything in his power to keep it there.

“Yeah, we will.”

[nightshade-minho]

-Blue Book- (6)

Warnings: suggestiveness, future smut

Word Count: 2.4k

Chan knows what happiness is. He's felt it before in mild amounts- like the time when he was 7 and his dad bought him that toy truck he'd been wanting, or when he ate his favorite food.

As the years went by though, he found it harder and harder to feel even an ounce of that elusive emotion. It wasn't like he was a particularly sad person, either. He was just...existing.

Which is why he found you so intriguing. He watched as you rambled away between sips of your boba, accentuating your words with wild gestures. It was cute, how passionate you were about art and how happy you got when you talked about it. Chan loved making his music too-it was a welcome distraction from his hectic life. He never found himself feeling this level of enthusiasm, though.

"And yeah. That's why I think Bernini is objectively better than Michelangelo."

He smiled, nodding, though he hadn’t really paid attention to what you had been rambling about. God, he couldn't help but be fascinated by you.

This was bad. He couldn't lie to himself anymore- he was definitely starting to feel things for you that went beyond mere intrigue. It was easy to pretend he didn't like you when you weren't around...But when you were right in front of him, Chan found himself hating the way he wanted to spend more and more time with you. 

Suddenly, the door to the cafe opened. You looked up when you heard the tinkling bells, a frown growing on your face as you watched Minho walk in with Miyoung right behind him. 

You sat up immediately, glancing at your watch and shooting a quick, apologetic smile to Chan. “Uh, I just remembered I have somewhere to be, so-”

Too late. Minho smirked as he walked over to your table.

“Chan, thought you’d be here. Can we talk?”

Chan’s eyebrows knitted as he slowly looked away from you. “Okay, I guess.” He stood up, following Minho as the two boys walked out. You looked up at Miyoung, who offered you a shy, genuine smile before sitting in Chan’s spot.

“Hey, Y/n. How are you?”

“Hey. I’m good. You?” You said slowly, slightly cautious. Miyoung was one of those girls who hadn’t been particularly mean, but it wasn’t like she’d gone out of her way to befriend you either. 

“I’m alright...” She smiled again, trailing off a little awkwardly.

Her smile seemed genuine enough, but would she have smiled at you the same if you weren’t with Chan? Probably not, You noted with slight bitterness, sighing under your breath.

“Do you want some?” You spoke up, gesturing to the untouched cheesecake in front of you, tilting your head.

She shook her head, the same smile fixed on her face. “Nah, I’m on a diet. Thanks, though.” She opened her mouth, looking like she wanted to say something else, closing it and fiddling with her fork.

Awkward silence.

“I...” Miyoung looked at the fork in front of her, avoiding eye contact. “Are you happy?”

“Hap...py?” You questioned, a little confused.

“With Chan. Are you happy?”

“Oh..well yeah, I guess.” You frowned. “Um...we’re not actually dating yet, you know that, right?”

“You’re not?” Her eyes widened a little. “Oh...the way he acts around you, I thought...” She shook her head, sitting up straighter. “Anyway, I’m sure he’ll make it official soon.”

“Hmm.” You stared at the girl, her expression a little sad as she looked up, staring out the window. You tilted your head, following her gaze to Minho and Chan, who seemed to be having a conversation.

You looked back at her. “Why’d you ask that question? Are you not happy with Minho?”

“Wha- no, I am! I just... ” She paused. “Forget it. Hey...you want to come with me to the mall later?”

You raised an eyebrow. A week ago you had no friends, and now some of the most popular people at school were lining up to spend time with you. Huh.

“Sure.”

***

“Why do you want to talk? What’s up?”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Nothing much, really.”

Chan frowned. “Why’d you take me out here, then? I’ve got to get back to Y/n-”

Minho narrowed his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Chill, dude. She’s with Miyoung. She’s not going to die if you leave her alone for a few seconds. Why do you care, anyway?”

“What are you talking about?”

Minho pressed his lips together, observing the uneasy expression on Chan’s face. 

“...Whatever. Just know prom’s in a few weeks, and Miyoung’s whipped for me.” He smirked. “You better get that book fast~” He turned around, walking back towards the cafe door.

Chan watched him leave, fists clenching as he watched Minho go up to the table, greeting Miyoung and steadily ignoring you. He watched the slightly hurt expression on your face uncomfortably. He felt so much anger, all of it directed at Minho...and some of it at himself.

***

Miyoung quickly put a smile on her face as Minho entered, standing up as he slunk a hand around her waist. 

“Hey, baby.” He smiled down at her. “Let’s go, my parents aren’t home~”

“Oh...actually, Minho, I kind of made plans with Y/n.” The boy frowned at that, glancing at you. He opened his mouth to protest, interrupted by her.

“Um, we were planning to go to the mall, but you can come too! And so can Chan.” She said, smiling sweetly up at him and running a finger up his chest. “Please? I’ll make it up to you later...” She winked.

“Fine.” He gritted his teeth, looking up as Chan entered, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

“But we’re going in my car.”

***

Miyoung was a sweetheart, really. She just wasn’t the kind of girl you’d usually befriend- but someone was better than no one, right?

She ran her eyes over the jewelry on the shelves, humming under her breath. “Hm, I’m not sure which necklace would match my belt...what color is your prom dress?”

“Oh...I haven’t exactly bought one yet.”

She looked at you, her eyes widening in shock. “What? Prom is two weeks away!”

“Yeah, I know. I might just wear one of my mom’s old dresses.” You shrugged, looking at the brooch Miyoung was holding. “Ooh, that one’s nice.”

Miyoung shook her head incredulously, putting the brooch down and grabbing your wrist. “Come on. I’ll help you find a dress, just follow me.”

You groaned but let her pull you along, deciding to entertain her for the time being. After all, she was your only female friend in years, and you didn't want to lose this yet.

***

People passing by the two boys sitting at the table and sharing their fries would probably think they were friends. Two dudes, hanging out and enjoying a fun guy's night. If only they knew.

Minho slipped another fry into his mouth as he tilted his head. "So you're sure you're going to get the book within the next few days?"

"Um, yeah. I know she trusts me. We've gotten really close."

"Yeah...I can tell." Minho raised an eyebrow, swirling his next victim in the small tub of ketchup.

Chan frowned as he took in Minho's expression. "What's up with that tone?"

"Don't you think you're getting a little too close to Y/n? You could easily steal that book if you wanted to, you spend every day with her now and I'm sure she's left her bag unguarded around you." He smirked. "Part of me wonders if you actually want her around. If you're dragging this out on purpose."

Chan turned red, the implications of what Minho was saying making him swear internally. "Wh- what are you talking about? I only hang out with her cause you made that bet. Or I wouldn't have looked twice at her." He said firmly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

Minho shrugged, devouring yet another fry as Chan's mind started racing, the familiar feeling of confusion rising up again.

***

"We shouldn't keep Chan and Minho waiting." You groaned, Miyoung choosing to ignore your pleas as she tossed yet another dress at you.

"Shh, they'll be fine. They're at the food court, and you know boys and their relationship with food of any kind. I assure you, they're not missing us. Now come on, I just know you'll look good in green." She smiled.

You sighed, tiredly clutching the dress as you went back into the changing room for the nth time. For the last half hour, you'd repeatedly tried on dresses to the point where you were ready to collapse from exhaustion. However, the excitement Miyoung was radiating made you want to please her...and it was kind of nice, the way she oohed and aahed each time you changed into a different dress. Was this what it's like to have a friend?

You stared at your reflection in the mirror once you managed to get the dress on, your eyes widening. Wow.

The silk was dark green, hugging your waist perfectly. The cut of the dress flattered your body like it was made for you. It was the perfect dress. You fell in love with it the more you turned around, assessing your reflection from every angle.

Slowly, biting your lip, you checked the price tag hanging off it. You sighed. Just as you thought.

You knew your mom would never be able to afford a dress this expensive. A sudden rush of guilt ran through you as you dropped the tag, running a hand through your hair as you moved to take the dress off.

For a minute, your hand paused on the zipper, your eyes travelling back to your reflection. For a moment, you let yourself imagine attending prom wearing this beautiful dress.

An image of you and Chan, slow dancing under the dimmed gym lights settled itself in your brain. You let a small, dreamy smile take over your face as you removed the dress. Even if you'd be wearing your mom's old floral dress, at least the Chan part of your fantasy would remain true.

***

You hadn't had this much fun in ages. So this was what it was like to hang out with friends. You wished you'd met Chan and Miyoung earlier.

The only problem? Minho. Your worst nightmare, in the form of a handsome high school boy with a devilish smirk and a weird, unprovoked hatred towards you. The fact that you were now left alone with him was probably the only downside to an otherwise wonderful day.

Miyoung had dashed into a shop, saying she'd be out in a second, and soon after Chan had dipped saying he had to go withdraw some money at the ATM. By pure, rotten luck, you somehow winded up sitting next to Minho on the mall bench as the two of you waited for your partners to come back.

You stared ahead of you, determined not to look at the boy sitting next to you. He'd always ignored you, treated you like you were the dirt on his shoe. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing you hated him as much as he hated you.

After a few minutes, Minho smirked, glancing over at you. "Why do you look so worried? Afraid your boyfriend's gone to cheat on you?" He asked, his tone dripping with fake sweetness.

You turned to look at him, glaring. God, this dude was so annoying.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Minho's eyebrow raised slightly, as he hadn't really expected you to reply. His expression faltered for a moment before his usual sneer took over his face once more.

"There isn't anything wrong with me, darling." He said, looking up and eyeing a lady in a crop top. You followed his gaze and let out a snort.

"What an asshole."

"Excuse me?"

You turned to him, anger taking over your entire being again.

"Miyoung's a sweet girl. She deserves a lot better than a lying dickhead who can't even keep his eyes to himself." You scoffed. "You should stop using her like this."

Minho's mouth opened slightly, the slight shock giving way to amusement as he grinned.

"I'm using her?" He pouted. "Hm. I guess that is wrong...I should probably take lessons from your boyfriend, yeah? Since he's so perfect."

"What do you mean?" You narrowed your eyes, slight discomfort settling in you as the man shifted closer to you on the bench.

"Just saying." He shrugged. "Channie isn't who you think he is." Leaning in, you shuddered as you felt his lips graze your ear. "I'd watch my back if I were you, sweetheart~"

He quickly drew back as he noticed Miyoung emerge from the shop, expression neutral as he stood up to go over to his girlfriend.

What was he talking about?

***

"Hey, you okay? You seem...out of it." Chan said gently, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Oh? What- no, I'm fine." You nodded, carefully staring at your lap. Chan turned to look at you, frowning.

"You sure?"

"Uh huh." You said slowly, staring out the window as Chan drove you home. There was silence in the car, and Chan hated it. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken tension. He wanted to do something about it, but you looked so closed off and guarded ever since he got back from the ATM.

"You can...you can always talk to me, you know." He said gently, as he stopped the car in front of your house.

"I know." You mumbled, looking up at him. "I'm sorry. Thank you for today, it was fun. See you tomorrow?"

"I wake up at 5 am every day for you, now." He whined, glad your smile was back on your face. "You know, going to school that early should be a crime."

You giggled as you got out of his car, closing the door and going over to his side.

"Well then, arrest me, officer~"

Chan blushed slightly, gripping the wheel. "Bye, Y/n." He laughed, as you blew a kiss and turned to enter your house.

Chan let out a sigh under his breath. He realized slowly that for the entirety of the day, he hadn't felt all that much jealousy. He'd been too focused on you to even notice Minho's desperate attempts to induce envy in him. And after Minho's sly accusation, Chan didn't know what to believe. Could it be...

This was bad. This was really bad.

[gffa]

[Part 1/2] I read your posts about the "toxic" aspect of anidala, and I'm curious to know your opinion about Padmé. Everyone says that Anakin's love is possessive/obsessive, and of course it IS, but many people ignore how Padmé herself was feeling. Personally, I think there's a tendency to forget Padmé's romantic/impetuous nature to paint her as the wise Senator who only thinks about democracy/greater good, when she's actually... the Juliet to Anakin's Romeo, if it makes sense?

[Part 2/2] She enjoyed all the drama/over-the-top romance, and she let herself get carried away by Anakin’s strong emotions. Fanon!Padmé seems to care more about democracy than her husband, when it’s not true; takes two to tango. I remember Obi-Wan in AotC saying to Anakin that if their roles were reversed she would do her duty over her feelings, but in CW’s episode Shadow Warrior she traded General Grievous for Anakin. Catherine Taber said that her heart wins over her head when he’s involved. 

I absolutely agree with you on this!  I think Padme’s romantic nature tends to get overshadowed by Anakin’s super obsessive tendencies because he’s so very much more intense about it, as well as he’s a main character, but hers are absolutely there, too.She starts Attack of the Clones as having strong, clear boundaries with Anakin’s feelings for her, she tells him not to look at her like that, she’s the one holding the line about how being in a secret relationship would destroy them, but it’s also increasingly clear that she’s holding herself to that line because she says it later on Geonosis–”I’m not afraid to die. I’ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.”This is the same day where she ignores his murder of the indigenous children of Tatooine–despite that she is a Senator of the Galactic Republic!  She’s not someone who doesn’t understand the weight of those actions!–because she aches for him and is falling in love with him.  Because she’s swept up in the hurricane of his feelings for her and her own storm of feelings inside herself for him.Then she marries him after he came back into her life for what, like, three days?  A week at most?  Even knowing that it could derail her career as a Senator (to marry one of the Jedi, who are under the jurisdiction of the Senate, to cause a scandal that would force her to step down, whatever the complications are), even knowing this could destroy them, she still marries someone she barely knows because she is such a romantic for him.Even in the The Clone Wars scene I talked about how their love was good but also bad, she’s clearly shown to be swept up in the romance of it all with Anakin–she’s trying to get work done, he’s saying, “Aren’t I more important than work?  Than your ideals?” and she tries to object, but Anakin makes a romantic gesture (one that’s sweet and, were it only to have stayed at that point, could have remained sweet, only we the audience can see the deeper implications of how terrible it is because Anakin literally means it that “nothing is more important than the way [he] feels about [her]”.

This conversation ends with them kissing, with Padme setting aside her work because she’s just so into this whole romantic thing with Anakin.  She tries to protest, she says maybe he should go, but as soon as he leans in to kiss her, she’s kissing him back.

They’re interrupted, so who knows how much she would have put the breaks on this or flung herself into it, because she’s not as far down the line on this as Anakin is, but she absolutely feels it.She does put the breaks on their relationship after the events with Clovis, that she doesn’t feel happy or right in this marriage anymore, but by the time of Revenge of the Sith, she’s still with him and still coming back to how huge these romantic feelings are inside of her–a huge part of what causes her to give up on life is Anakin, how devastated she is by him no longer being the man she married.She also spends much of the time thinking about their future (while it’s unclear how much she notices that he never participates in those conversations, he always shuts it down or doesn’t respond or changes the subject), how she wants to have the baby on Naboo, how she seems to intend to leave the Senate.Later, she also ignores that he murdered the Jedi Younglings, she ignores that he helped burn down the Republic she cared so much about, that he’s saying he’s building a new Empire, and asks him, “Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.”  She ignores what he’s done to other children and says, please, come help raise our child.

Padme may well have eventually had to face these choices in herself, in a way Anakin was never going to face them without external pressure to do so, I don’t think she was as willing to do the things Anakin did for his obsessive, possessive love, but she absolutely was a romantic and she absolutely set aside things that should have been really important, because her heart won out a lot of the time.Padme cares deeply about other things, she genuinely cares about democracy and the democratic process, there are moments where she still works to hold herself to her ideals, her beliefs, because she knows they’re important.But when it really comes down to it, when it’s a real choice between Anakin and her beliefs or her sworn duty, there’s a very clear pattern of her choosing her feelings for him, choosing him over anything else.  She’s not going to kill a bunch of children for him, but she’ll ignore it when he does it.This isn’t just Anakin’s obsession for her, it’s Padme’s own feelings for him that she can’t control very well, too.  You’re absolutely right that it took two to tango here and both of them did some really bad things because of those feelings.  And none of this negates that there were good moments, that they genuinely cared about each other, and that they could be incredibly sweet to each other, this isn’t an attempt to say there was nothing good here!  They could be adorable and teasing to each other in a light-hearted way and they both clearly really dug the idea of an epic romance.  I love Anidala for both the toxic parts of their relationship and the good parts of their relationship!But when talking about the things they’re willing to set aside for that romance–or actively do for those feelings they have in their heart–Padme is someone who very much is dancing this dance, too.It’s easy to see how much she cares about her role as a Senator, that some of her most epic moments are when she’s giving a political speech or staring in horror at the political shitshow going on around her, because that is an important part of her.  And, in smaller ways, she’s able to set her feelings for Anakin aside when she wants to get some work done.  It’s not until he pushes the romance button extra hard or when she has to make a choice between the two, that we see Padme’s feelings for him will win out over the duty she swore to do and the beliefs she expresses.

[tibbinswrites]

For the prompt list, I'm gonna go with destiel, numbers #9 and/or #20 💙 and congrats on the followers!

Hiii! Thank you! And thanks so much for your request. I’ve already done #9 so I’ve done #20 for you. 

I really struggled with this one, not gonna lie. I had a plan for it but I’m not super sure I managed to balance both sides of the argument and come up with a satisfying solution. Let me know what you think! All concrit is welcome.

I’ve now done prompts for: #1, #2, #4 and #16, #9, #10, #20, #33, #77, #78, #170 and #502 and I’ve got two still left to do. I’m not accepting any more at this time.

Also, if you wanna check out a fantabulous destiel anthology I’ve had the privilege to write for, our indegogo page is live here

Enjoy ^_^

20. Rules

There were rules to sharing Dean’s bed, Cas had found. Many of them. The main one, of course, was ‘Don’t tell Sam.” Followed by the next rule, ‘Don’t tell anyone’, which Cas argued made the first rule moot, seeing as Sam was part of ‘anyone’ and so didn’t need a separate rule. In fact, most of the rules Dean hurled at him were about keeping what they were doing secret, make sure he wasn’t seen sneaking into or out of Dean’s room at night, no touch lasting longer than two seconds outside of the bedroom, stay quiet unless they were alone in the bunker.

Cas didn’t like these rules, but he respected them. He kept his distance, didn’t touch Dean when he wanted to, didn’t brush their hands together when they walked side-by-side or hold him while they watched movies with Sam and Jack; he didn’t slide his arms around Dean’s waist while he stood at the stove, pressing in close, dropping kisses along the line of his neck. He wanted to do those things, wanted to stare unabashed and happy at how beautiful Dean looked in the early-morning light, wanted to lace their fingers together in line at the supermarket, wanted to hear all the glorious sounds Dean bit back while they made love.

He understood Dean’s reservations, and yet he didn’t. He didn’t resent the rules, and yet he did. Being with Dean was wonderful. Beneath the covers they would talk through their anxieties, their hopes for the future, they would always be touching, they smiled, they joked, they kissed. They discovered every inch of each other and Castiel at least fell more in love with each new piece of revealed information. But if he ever brought up the idea of telling Sam or Jack, Dean instantly clammed up and rolled away, all easy smiles vanished.

“I’m not ready,” was all he said. And really, it was all that he needed to say. Cas knew that he couldn’t force it. Dean being ready was important and Castiel vowed to wait.

But sometimes the waiting was very difficult. He didn’t want to hide his love like it was something shameful, it hurt every time he did. It hurt every time Dean acted like it was something shameful. He tried not to think about the implications, that maybe it was the fact that it was Cas that Dean was ashamed of, rather than any internal hangups about his own sexuality. It wasn’t true, he was almost certain, but there was enough room for doubt that it was a constant battle not to let it take hold.

After all, Dean had raised Sam, how could he have any doubt that he would be anything other than fully supportive of Dean’s happiness? Unless he was just pretending at happy, of course.

As the weeks passed he felt himself growing smaller. That niggling concern that perhaps he didn’t mean as much to Dean as Dean did to him kept niggling, and all his arguments for the contrary weren’t strong enough to hold up. Outside the sanctuary of his room, Dean was no different; they still fought, still talked, still went hunting together, except that Dean didn’t seek out Castiel’s company anymore, instead waiting in his room for Cas to go to him. And any affectionate touches or looks were now reserved until they were behind closed doors. The first few weeks this has been exciting, it had been something to look forward to, to sequester himself in Dean’s room where he would be met with open arms and comfort. But that meant after a disturbing hunt, or a close call while they were still in the field, or a worrying piece of news, even if it affected Dean deeply, he would pull away from Cas’ touch as though it were something dirty, avoid his eyes like Dean had used to avoid his eyes, back before Dean trusted him with his vulnerability. Holding eye contact too long was against the rules after all.

He held Dean close most nights, writhing beneath him, panting his name, pressing sweet words into his skin, or with an arm slung over Cas’ chest while he slept, Cas’ fingers threading through his hair, and yet he had never felt so far away.

Eventually, around six months after the rules had been laid out, Cas realised that he couldn’t go on like this. Perhaps he had been idealistic in what a physical relationship entailed but if this was it then Cas wasn’t sure he wanted it anymore. He missed knowing that Dean would be at his back when needed, he missed feeling secure in his place with the Winchesters, he missed being able to sit comfortably in a room with his family and not be on edge about whether he was staring too long or sitting too close, or stating an opinion that would lead to a hushed argument cutting into the only time they had to be honest. Seeing Dean naked was nice, bringing him pleasure was a worship of which he would never tire, but compared to the bond they used to share, the one that wasn’t contained within four walls and a list of rules, where the passion and trust and care between them was solid and certain, it paled to barely a watermark.

If Dean had been truly happy with how things were then Castiel might have been able to bear it, but as it was, Cas had to say something.

“Dean,” Cas said one evening, gently pushing Dean away from where he was kissing his way down Castiel’s throat. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” Dean asked, barely listening as he tried to get back in close. When Cas didn’t yield though, he sat back with a frown. “What?”

Cas shifted himself to a seated position and stared at his knees. “I want to go back to not sleeping together.”

Dean just blinked at him for a few moments before he said anything. “Oh,” was all he came out with,  followed by a much smaller, “how come?”

“Because I understand that you want to keep this secret,” Cas said, his throat closing around the words. He swallowed. “But I don’t, and it’s not fair to try and force that from you, so there needs to stop being a secret.”

“You’re kidding me?” Dean said, irritation flaring in his voice. “This is because I won’t tell Sam.” He scoffed loudly and got off the bed, bending to find the shirt he had tossed aside mere moments before.

“We spend more time hiding our relationship than having one,” Cas fired back, already hating how this was going. “And you know, you know that Sam won’t give a crap about your sexuality so the only factor that you have to be ashamed of is me.”

“Oh, yeah, you really got me sussed, huh?” Dean snarked, yanking the shirt down over his head as though preparing to leave, as if this wasn’t his own room. “Like you won’t leave the second that this thing becomes real.”

That struck deep. “It wasn’t…?” Cas began, the question mark hanging there like the rope that life was supposed to be. Then he cleared his throat and stood too, gathering his own clothes and pulling them on, all without looking at Dean. He would not let Dean see how much that had hurt him. “I understand. It was never real for you. That’s why it’s been so easy for you to separate. That makes sense.” The anger hit him then and he spun violently around, his eyes beginning to sting. “If you had just told me that that’s what this was I could have saved us both the trouble! I’m sick of being used, Dean. Ever since I was created I’ve been somebody’s tool. I thought it was different with you, I thought—” He squeezed his eyes shut. No, of course. Dean never loved him. Cared for him perhaps, as a friend, and wanted to explore his sexuality in a safe environment with someone convenient. That’s all this was.

“If you think I’m indulging this pity-party, you’re wrong,” Dean snapped. “You knew what you were getting into, I was upfront. It’s been six months and not a word that this isn’t working for you but all of a sudden it’s so bad that you wanna cut and run!?”

“You said you weren’t ready,” Cas reminded him. “Was I supposed to pressure you?”

“You weren’t supposed to pretend!” Dean shouted. Then he winced and lowered his voice to a hiss. “That’s how relationships work. You talk about the things going wrong so you can fix them.”

“And how do we fix this, Dean? Because I can’t contain my love for you in this room and you can’t love me anywhere else. What are we supposed to do?”

Dean hesitated at that, then he said, slowly, like he was replaying Cas’ words, “You think I don’t love you?”

“I think that our friendship has suffered since we started having sex,” Cas said bluntly. He had to be blunt or the sorrow caused by that fact would overwhelm him. “We practically avoid each other unless it involves a hunt in order to abide by your rules. I didn’t realise that the price of a relationship would be to sacrifice everything the relationship was built on. Turns out that’s not a price I’m willing to pay, you’re too important to me.”

“Yeah, I feel real important right now.” Dean snapped. He folded his arms and turned away, and Cas knew he’d hit a nerve.

“Dean—” Cas reached out to touch him on the shoulder but Dean shrugged him off. He sighed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted.”

“What? Happy?” Dean shot back, his voice thick with emotion. “Yeah, me too.”

He felt a pang in his chest at that.

“I love you, Dean. No matter what we call our relationship, that will always be true.”

“Whatever.”

Taking that as a firm dismissal, Cas turned to leave.

“Cas, wait.”

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob.

“I’m not scared about what Sam would think about be being with you, not really.”

Cas turned back around. Dean’s back was still to him; his shoulders were hunched over, curled in on himself. Cas longed to stride forward, gather him up and place a kiss to each of his freckles.

“Then what are you scared of?”

Dean faced him then, his eyes open and terrified. “This. You taking off again. If I told Sam then I couldn’t ever take it back. And if something happens, and they know… it’ll just make everything so much worse.” He scoffed, a wet, sad sound. “Besides, if he saw how gone I am on you… he’ll start trying to get to me to retire, to take you and just get out and make a happy, apple pie life of our own. I can’t leave him, and I’m not ready to stop hunting.”

“I’d never ask you to,” Cas said gently, a little confused.

“I know. But honestly? I’m kinda terrified of how easy it would be.” He smiled then, a soft, wistful thing. “I’ve actually been thinking about it, making plans for what comes after.” He made a self-deprecating sound “Like I get that lucky. Like I haven’t known since I was five years old that there is no after for me. I’ll die a hunter. At the end of a spell or a blade or a set of claws, that’s how I’ve always wanted it, that’s what always felt right.”

“And now?”

“Now… as long as you’re there with me, I don’t really care so much how it ends.” Dean’s eyes were on his, and they mirrored the longing that Cas himself felt, the magnetic pull that drew him in. “That’s what scares me, Cas. If I tell Sam, it’ll change the way I look at my life, I’ll start wanting something more than what my dad planned, what I was so sure was the only path I had.”

“Dean,” Cas said, reaching for him, and Dean came easily. “Since when have you ever followed a plan set out for you that wasn’t your own?”

xxx

The next morning, Dean dropped a kiss to Cas’ hair at the breakfast table, right in front of Sam, who did nothing more than roll his eyes and mutter something that sounded suspiciously like, “Finally.”